


Let The Right One In

by MalevolentReverie



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: A/B/O Vibes, Age Regression/De-Aging, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - Demons, Blood Drinking, Bullying, Child Abuse, Childhood Sexual Abuse, Come Eating, Daddy Kink Vibes, Dark, Dark fluff, Demon Kylo Ren, Demon Sex, Demon/Human Relationships, Demons, Domestic Violence, Dubious Consent, Dubious Morality, Emotional Manipulation, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Foster Care, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Let The Right One In A/U, Masturbation, Mating, Mating Bites, Mating Bond, Obsession, Overprotective, Possessive Behavior, Sexual Content, Slow Burn, Vampires, kind of, this is not a healthy relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-01
Updated: 2018-06-19
Packaged: 2019-04-30 13:53:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 14
Words: 30,645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14498418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MalevolentReverie/pseuds/MalevolentReverie
Summary: Rey's short life has been utterly miserable so far, but she still clings to hope that someone will give her the love she craves. In her new foster home she meets a strange man named Kylo who is drawn to her persistent optimism and ‘light,’ and he is fiercely protective of her. As Rey grows older, the nature of their relationship changes, and Kylo gradually becomes more and more possessive in an increasingly dangerous world.





	1. Woe

**Author's Note:**

> LMAO
> 
> CW CSA

 “Welcome home, Rey!”

It doesn’t feel welcoming. My social worker, Miss Leia, is dropping me off at my new foster home. I squeeze her fingers and she leans over to kiss the top of my head. This is home now. Since mommy and daddy couldn’t take care of me anymore… This is home now.

It’s small and dingy—a trailer on the outskirts of town. Leia gently leads me inside and we come face-to-face with my new stepmom, Phasma. She’s really tall and has short blonde hair and a cigarette hanging out of her mouth. She leans over to kiss me hard on the forehead and drags from the gross thing in her mouth while Leia talks about my problems.

I always wanted a big house with two floors and blue shutters. I wanted my mom and dad to be normal people who love me, but both of them are too sick to do that. Now I’m in a small trailer with my unicorn clutched to my chest, leaning on my tiptoes to gaze across the dirty floors. Phasma is my mommy now, according to Miss Leia. I don’t want Phasma to be my mommy.

It smells, but I don’t want to complain and make a fuss. I go down the hall to find my tiny bedroom and beam at the sight of it. I’ve never had my own bedroom before! How neat! I fling my small suitcase on the little twin bed and clap my hands happily. I’m only six. I’m easy to please.

The flowery wallpaper is peeling but I imagine repainting it blue and white. I flop in my bed, ponytail hitting the mattress, and close my eyes, beaming. This can all be mine.

 “Rey?”

I peek up to find Leia peering in my bedroom with Phasma close behind. They both smile and laugh while I explain what I want to do with the place and I slip out of bed to put my pink sheets on the mattress. I’m so happy. Phasma makes me nervous, but I guess I can let her have a try. She smokes her cigarette and watches me scurry around the room and organize things.

Leia clears her throat. “So we’ll be keeping an eye on things for a while—making sure Rey is comfortable here. Is your husband home?”

 “He will be later.” Phasma yawns, bored. “Someone has to make money.”

The floorboards are a little eroded but I don’t care. I set up my few precious belongings: my mom’s silver heart necklace, a card from my last foster family, and Leia’s card if I need to call her. I organize them on my bookshelf and clap my hands happily. My things.

Life hasn’t been easy so far, but I’m still holding out for it to get better. I get my room ready while Leia chats with Phasma, reminding her to send reports, and I push open my bedroom window to let some of the cool Vermont spring inside. I lean on the dusty windowsill and close my eyes, inhaling deeply and smiling, and tune out the adults behind me.

Leia comes over to give me a fierce hug and a kiss on the top of my head. I love her so much. She has short brown and gray hair and she always smells so nice. I squeeze her back and beam and she mumbles that I can call her whenever I need help. I nod and hold back tears.

Then she’s gone, and I’m alone in my tiny bedroom with my little things. I sit on the edge of my bed and smile at Phasma while she smokes. She doesn’t smile back.

 “Your father will be home soon,” Phasma says. “Go take a bath.”

I nod spastically and race through the trailer to the small bathroom.  Baths take too long, so I hop in the shower and scrape the dirt out of my hair, desperate to be presentable for my new daddy. Independence came early and fast for me. I had to learn to brush my own teeth and wash my own body while my mommy was passed out on the floor with a bottle of gin in her hand.

The bathroom has fish decorations and the tile is cracked. I scrub my teeth and chomp them, giggling, then get dressed in my skirt and blouse and run back to my bedroom. Phasma is watching TV in the living room so I climb into bed and wring my hands nervously. Okay, mom is fine, so now I meet daddy.

When the sun is setting, the front door opens. I skitter out of bed and peer from the door to find Phasma kissing the cheek of a red-haired man, who looks annoyed by her and rolls his eyes. He has a sharp gaze and mumbles to her before he catches me staring from the corner of my room. His blue eyes light up and he kneels on the floor, smiling.

 “Hello, Rey,” he coos. “I’m Armitage Hux.”

I touch the peeling doorframe and edge around the side, smiling back. “I’m Rey.”

 “I know.” He opens his arms and beams. “Come here, little one.”

Desperate for affection, I race over and leap into his chest. He laughs and squeezes me and Phasma huffs and walks away from us. I nuzzle into his skinny neck and smile. Ah. Daddy.

Hux carries me back to my bedroom, shutting the door behind us. I cling to his neck as he settles me in bed and he leans over to kiss my forehead. His touch lingers, but I don’t mind. I grasp his forearms and he smiles and keeps kissing my face until Phasma calls him from the other room.

I have dinner with them in the living room while we watch TV—it’s mac and cheese, and Hux even lets me sit in his lap. I chow down on a few bowls while Phasma sits in the recliner and nurses a beer, staring off into space. Hux kisses my neck while I giggle and try to eat. He’s affectionate and I love it. No one has ever touched me so much.

Time goes by. I go to first grade with a paper bag full of snacks for my lunch. Lots of the kids look like me but they don’t feel like me. I shy away from their nice clothes and big laughs and eat alone in the corner of the cafeteria, beaming when I find a note from daddy that says ‘good luck, little one.’ I chow down on my ham and cheese sandwich and wish I could make some friends.

It carries on like that for weeks. Most kids ignore me, even though I try to make friends. I get increasingly lonely and sad and stare out the window when I get home and finish my homework. Phasma gets into screaming matches with Hux, but I don’t intervene. I want to be happy.

 “Rey?”

I turn and smile when I see my daddy entering my room. He smiles back and closes the door behind him, sitting on the edge of my bed while I hop happily. He’s gone for most of the day as the manager of a local chain, but he comes home with his tie loosened and argues with mommy. He gives me the love I’m looking for. Phasma cries and avoids me.

Hux sits on the edge of my bed and smiles. “How was school?”

 “Good!” I chirp. “I’m learning how to write in cursive.”

 “Very nice. Have you made any friends?”

My chest tightens. I look away and shake my head, saddened. “No…”

Hux clicks his tongue and draws me into his arms. He’s kind of skinny and bony but I like being touched, so I don’t argue. I nuzzle into his chest and heave a sigh. Leia found me a nice family.

We sit there quietly for a long time. He helps me lie down under my horse sheets and I draw him under them, too. I turn over and smile and curl against him and Hux kisses the top of my head. He draws his long, spindly fingers through my hair and I nuzzle under his chin. I love being touched. I’m sad without it—sad to be left alone with the emptiness in my chest.

Hux sighs. “My poor Rey.”

I nod, squirming closer. “I’m sad.”

 “Let me help you.”

My bedroom is quiet. I frown up at Hux as he adjusts on my small mattress and my eyes widen when I feel his hands wander. I’ve felt it before, but I thought he was different. He whispers into my neck as his long fingers move across my little body and I keep my mouth shut, terrified of being found out. Phasma will yell. Maybe this is normal. He kisses my neck in a long, weird way.

Hux sighs, like he’s happy. “Good girl.”

 “But…  But…”

 “Shh.” He kisses my jaw. “Be good.”

It takes forever to end. I cry into his collarbone and he coos and strokes my hair. He just feels me, which is different from what I’m used to, but I saddened by it all the same. It’s wrong. I want him to love me unconditionally—I don’t want to offer him anything in return. He kisses my hair and strokes between my legs, which makes no sense, and I keep crying.

Hux purrs. “You feel nice. Have you ever felt… good?”

 “No. No—let me go, please.”

Phasma calls him from the other room. My makeshift father sighs and leaves me alone in my little bed with my horse sheets, and I draw them up to my chin. I roll over and wipe away tears in a hurry, still praying that someone, somewhere, will love me with no consequences. Leia says someone will. I wish I could live with Leia. I wish I could live with someone who won’t hurt my body.

I cry into my pillows, dejected, then feel someone’s eyes on me. It has to be Hux, so I peer out from my fortress to yell at him, and my eyes widen in shock.

A tall man with long black hair is sitting on the floor near my door, frowning. He cocks his head and his eyes turn sharp and red and he smiles. He has a long, sloping jaw, and a beard on his chin with a moustache. He’s dressed in jeans and a black t-shirt. His ears are pointy, like his teeth, but he doesn’t make a move towards me. He lights up when I frown back.

 “Hello, little one,” he murmurs. “My name is Kylo. What’s yours?”


	2. Grace

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> u guys kill me

Fear trickles through me. I tug my blankets to my chin and my lower lip trembles, but I don’t want the strange man to know I’m scared. I can scream. My parents will come.

Kylo tilts his head and frowns. “Don’t make a scene, little one. I won’t hurt you.”

It’s a line I’ve heard a thousand times before. I burst into tears and sink deeper under my thin blankets, terrified that he’s coming for me like Hux does. But Kylo’s red eyes widen nervously and he waves his hands, showing long talons, and he shakes his head. His black hair drapes to his shoulders and suddenly draws back into a ponytail without him using his hands at all.

He coos and drifts closer on his hands and knees. “Shh—don’t cry.” The floor doesn’t creak as he comes to the edge of my bed and he smiles. “I won’t hurt you.”

 “That’s what everyone says,” I whisper, afraid of rousing Hux. “You shouldn’t be in my room.”

 “Mmm… Maybe.” Kylo’s talons rip into my comforter as he creeps over the edge of my bed to hover by the end, watching me draw into a ball. “I tasted your fear and decided to investigate. I have no interest in… his interests.”

Crickets chirp outside and a breeze drifts across my skin. I stare at Kylo, wary, and he grins back at me. His mouth is lined with jagged fangs.

It seems like he realizes that his face is scaring me the most and the long nails draw back into his fingers, his fangs shrink into normal teeth, and his ears round off at the top. He blinks, and his red eyes turn brown like mine. I snatch my unicorn and squeeze her, still unsure.

Kylo’s tongue flicks out like a snake’s. “A little bright light in all this despair…” He cocks his head quick, like a bird, and smiles. “May I show you something?”

I search his eyes, still trying to read him, and nod once. He lifts a hand and my unicorn drifts from my arms into the air, spinning around in the darkness, then lands on all four of her hooves near my feet. I sit up to watch as her black eyes sparkle with light and she dances on my pink bedspread, throwing her legs and jumping all over the place.

A happy chirp slips from my lips and I clap and smile. Cool! My tattered, dingy unicorn spins around a few more times before she leaps into the air and flies around my small bedroom with a trail of sparkles behind her. I kneel in bed to watch and can’t stifle my excited giggles. Kylo watches me lazily, smiling and moving his fingers, then his pupils suddenly narrow.

My door opens and my unicorn falls neatly into my lap as I scramble under the covers. Hux peers inside, now wearing a white undershirt and boxers, and he smiles.

 “Are you scared?” he asks softly. “I can stay in your bed with you.”

My heart skips a beat and a low growl rumbles through the room. Hux frowns at the sound and crosses to my window to look outside, probably thinking it’s a stray dog. I glance at my closet, slightly open, and catch a pair of red eyes watching him though the darkness. They blink and a big, fanged smile turns toward me. I know it’s Kylo and I giggle and smile back, baring my teeth.

Hux smiles down at me. “Silly girl. I’ll stay.”

That’s not what I want but I can’t say no. My skin prickles as he slides under my covers with me and he notices the tears from Kylo’s claws at the foot of the bed. He frowns and wraps his arms around me.

 “Be careful with your things, Rey,” Hux sighs. He noses into my hair and his spindly fingers brush down my arm to my hands and he presses his palm to mine. “Is this better?”

 “Yes,” I lie, staring at his collarbone.

Hux shifts closer and my bed creaks. My heart jumps in my throat when his nails run along my thigh and I try to hold back tears. It’s normal. It’s fine. It’s fine. It’s fine. It’s—

 “Hux! I need you!”

Phasma’s voice comes loud and clear across the trailer. Hux’s hand pauses on my thigh and he sighs and gets out of bed after giving me a long kiss on the lips. I watch him leave and sit up as Kylo emerges from my closet with shadows dripping behind him like water. He smiles and sits on the floor at the edge of my bed while I hear Hux and Phasma getting in a fight about whether or not she called him.

The sheets pull back and my pillows fluff behind me and my unicorn comes back to my arms. I wriggle down in bed and turn on my side to keep staring at him, now mesmerized. What is he?

 “Go to sleep, little one,” Kylo murmurs. “I won’t let him touch you.”

I frown, still eager to play, but close my tired eyes and yawn. My bedroom gets quiet but the argument in the other room gets even louder. I peek and see that Kylo is gone.

School is okay the next day. I keep looking around for Kylo, hoping he’ll pop up and make something dance again, but it’s just boring old classes and stuff. I eat my lunch alone in the cafeteria and walk home alone after with my backpack, passing the broken-down playground along the way. It’s fall and there are leaves all over the slide and swings and—

  _Rey._

My name comes from an empty swing with a keening voice and I blink and Kylo is sitting there. He smiles when I gasp and rush over, fumbling with the rusty gate, and drop my backpack by the swings. I sit in the one next to him and beam under his red eyes gazing down at me.

 “Hiya!” I chirp.

 “Hello, little one. How was school?”

I shrug. “It was fine. I don’t have any friends, so…” I look down at the ground and swing slowly. “It’s okay, though. I have my mom and dad.”

The leaves I’m staring at suddenly swirl into the sky like they’re in a funnel and I watch, smiling. Kylo lets them drift off with the wind and eyes my backpack on the ground a few feet away.

 “Your things are dirty,” he notes, not in a mean way.

I nod and look up at the overcast sky. “My parents don’t have a lot of money. I don’t mind.”

 “Is there _anything_ that bothers you?” He’s studying me, looking for something in my face. “Humans always want something and they like to complain.”

“I just don’t like when my dad—”

My voice catches and I stop talking. It’s not right to complain. They gave me a home to live in and food and my own bed to sleep in. Besides, it’s not like he hurts me. Maybe that’s just how he shows he loves me, and I’m not one to complain about affection. I grind my teeth and hop off my swing to get my backpack and head home. Mom and dad will be expecting me.

Kylo follows. “You’re allowed to be upset, Rey.”

 “My family is nice to me. I’m not upset.”

 “You don’t like what Hux does to you. It makes you upset, so admit it.”

I scowl up at him and he raises his eyebrows like he wants me to say something but I’m not going to complain about my dad. He’s a good dad. He hugs me.

Leaves skitter past my sneakers while we walk and we lapse into silence until my trailer comes into view. The front stairs are all cracked and bent and I step carefully so they don’t break completely. Kylo doesn’t make a sound as he walks behind me to the kitchen, where I make myself a peanut butter sandwich and rummage in the fridge for an expired apple juice. I perch at the rickety table and chow down.

Kylo sits next to me and wipes some of the peanut butter from my plate to taste it. “If you don’t like what Hux does to you, I can make him stop.”

My chewing slows down a little. I blink at Kylo, thinking, and he smiles and takes a tentative bite of the other half of my sandwich. He looks normal—no big fangs or long nails.

I look around nervously to make sure no one is around to hear us. The peanut butter and bread float over to the table and one talon grows so Kylo can use it to scoop and spread the peanut butter. He tries to lick it off and I notice his tongue is forked. Weird.

It hurts my chest, but I stare at my plate and mumble the truth. “I don’t like what he does to me. It makes me scared and nervous.”

Kylo has two sandwiches stuffed in his mouth, coating his fangs with sticky peanut butter, and I can’t help but giggle at it. He swallows it down, widening his mouth like a snake, and licks it off like Leia’s puppy used to. I smile and watch him and he awkwardly pats the top of my head like _I’m_ a puppy. His skin feels cold on my scalp.

 “Typically I encourage these types of things,” he says, shrugging, “but you’re an interesting little human, Rey.” He stands up and scratches the back of his head. “I’ll be back in a bit. Do your homework.”

 “I always do my homework,” I grumble as soon as he disappears.

He should scare me more than he does, but I think I like him. He can make my unicorn dance and he talks to me. He’s almost my friend. I smile to myself and make another sandwich when there’s a flicker of black and Kylo reappears near the table. He doesn’t smile and I frown.

 “Last night you mentioned that ‘everyone’ says they won’t hurt you.” He cocks his head, staring through me. “Who is ‘everyone?’”

I sit back down and take another sip of juice. “Um… Some of my past foster families. I don’t want to talk about it right now.”

He disappears again without another word. I chew on my sandwich and shrug.

Phasma comes home an hour later and doesn’t say anything to me when she gets a beer out of the fridge. I wave and she rolls her eyes and goes down the hall to her and Hux’s bedroom. It makes me sad, so I wander down the hall to my bedroom and decide to start my homework. There’s lot of math and I don’t really get it, but I don’t want to bother my parents asking for help.

It’s getting dark in my bedroom when something suddenly drops out of the sky and falls on my book. I jump a little, surprised, and gasp when I see my unicorn, now all sewed up and clean. I didn’t even notice she was gone! I squeeze her to my chest and smile and something else drops into my lap—socks, with unicorns on them.

As I pick them up and look around in confusion, more things begin falling on my bed out of nowhere: the really cool shoes that light up when you walk and new pants and shirts and hair ties! I’ve never seen so much in my whole life and I pick through the pile while it continues to grow until a small black box gently drops on top of everything.

I watch it open and a silver ring that looks like it has two horns floats out and drifts onto my left ring finger. It looks sharp. I wonder if it will match my necklace.

 “That’s for protection.”

Kylo is standing by my door and I squeal and leap out of bed to hug him, elated. He stiffens and pats the top of my head again when I wrap my arms around his legs and hug him.

 “Is all of this for me?!” I ask, bouncing on my feet.

 “Well I don’t think any of it will fit me.” He crouches in front of me and touches my shoulders. His hands are really big and his brown eyes look serious. “If anyone tries to touch you when you don’t want them to, hit them in the belly with the ring. They’ll stop.”

 “Okie dokie!” I fling my arms around his neck in another hug. “Thank you very much.”

He hesitantly pats my back with one hand. “Ah… Sure.”

Kylo offers to put it all away, but I want to organize everything by myself. He watches me and listens to me talk avidly about how I can’t wait to wear my new things to school. The ring feels tight.


	3. Curse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAA

 “Oh my gosh, I love your shoes!”

I’m hanging up my backpack in my cubby and turn to see a pretty girl from my class smiling at me. Her name is Rose and she’s friends with everyone. I smile back and tap my shoes so they light up and she gasps and calls over more girls, who all start complimenting different parts of my outfit. My backpack is new, too, and has a unicorn on it. I love unicorns.

Rose invites me to sit with her at her table during lunch and shares her chips with me. I laugh with the other girls and we tease Rose when she blushes after an older boy, Finn, walks by. Another boy named Poe follows behind him and grins at me. I scowl. Boys are dumb.

Kylo meets me near the playground in a black t-shirt and jeans and smiles while I tell him all about my day. Rose wants to hang out on Saturday and maybe have a sleepover and I’m so excited. We can’t stay at my house, but I don’t think mom or dad will mind if I go over to hers.

I notice dad’s car is in the driveway when I get home. Kylo grows under his breath like he did the other night and I instinctively grab his hand, squeezing his fingers nervously. Dad’s home early. Why?

We walk up the rickety stairs together with Kylo leading the way. He doesn’t disappear like usual and the door swings open slowly on its own as we walk inside to the sound of the TV playing. He peeks into the living room first and I see my mom is passed out on the couch with an open bottle of vodka on the coffee table. She has a bunch of bruises on her arms.

 “Rey?”

I turn to see daddy standing in the hallway with a beer in his hand. His tie is loose around his neck and his eyes look heavy. I smile faintly and squeeze Kylo’s fingers again, but my dad doesn’t look at him. Maybe only I can see him.

He cocks his head. “I saw your new things in your bedroom. Where’d you get them?”

 “My friend,” I mumble.

 “Your friend is generous.” Daddy beckons me. “Let’s go look.”

I let go of Kylo’s hand and nervously patter down the hall behind Hux to my bedroom. His shoes click on the floor and my door creaks open as we walk in to see all my stuff has been thrown around the room. Kylo growls again behind me as daddy walks all over everything and takes a drink of his beer, raising his eyebrows. Some of my clothes are torn and there’s a weird stain on my sheets.

Trembling, I lean over to pick up my unicorn and cry when I see her head has been ripped off. Daddy sighs and walks up to me, brushing my hair back with his spindly fingers, and he sits on the edge of my bed. He pulls me between his knees and kisses my forehead.

 “Is this friend a man?” Hux asks quietly.

I nod, dripping tears on my unicorn. “Yes.”

 “Does he touch you the way I do?”

 “N-No.” My lower lip quivers and I shake my head. “I don’t like when you do that.”

Dad suddenly grabs my cheeks in one hand and throws the beer bottle across the room. It smashes on the wall and I shriek in fear, sobbing and clawing desperately at his fingers. He glares back at me and kisses me hard on the mouth and his fingertips hook over the hem of my jeans—

I punch him in the cheek without thinking. My ring draws a splash of blood and leaves a jagged black mark on his skin and he yelps in pain and lets go. I fall on my butt and Hux grabs his face, swearing, and I scramble for my closet to hide.

Daddy staggers to his feet and the door slams shut behind me and I bump right into Kylo. I look up at him, hiccupping, then burst into tears again and fling my arms around his legs. He hesitates before hugging me back and slides to the floor to hold me against his chest while I cry and dad bangs on the door and screams at me to come out. Kylo hooks his chin over my shoulder and squeezes me.

The closet doesn’t have a lock, but for some reason, the door won’t open. Dad smashes more of my things and shouts horrible things he’s going to do when he gets me and I keep crying into Kylo’s neck. He clenches his jaw a few times and keeps growling, hugging me tighter and tighter, and his growling turns into angry snarls instead. He leans back with his fangs all jutting out of his mouth and his eyes are red.

 “I’m going to kill him,” Kylo hisses.

I shake my head, panicking. “No! Don’t leave me.” I keep shaking my head and cling to his shirt, curling up between his legs. “I don’t want to be alone anymore.”

 “…Okay. The curse will be painful enough.”

He stops growling and adjusts me in his lap so I can fall asleep on his chest instead with his arm around my back to help keep me in place. I sniffle for a while longer and he awkwardly pats my head again with an open palm and mutters ‘there, there’ a few times. I can’t hear his heart beating.

I yawn. “Touch my hair, please.”

Kylo hesitates again—he does that a lot—then slowly runs his fingers through my hair. It feels nice. He has big hands but he’s not clumsy and it feels like a breeze drifting across my scalp. He rubs my hair between his fingertips and draws it gently up, letting it drape through his hand like water. Miss Leia always compliments my hair. She says it’s the softest thing she’s ever felt.

We’re quiet for a while and I start falling asleep. Dad leaves the room and Kylo keeps touching my hair and I frown when I hear purring. I blink and look up to see he has his head leaned back with his eyes closed and realize the purring is coming from his chest. I giggle and his eyes roll open, red for a second before he blinks and they turn light brown as he looks down at me.

 “You sound like a cat,” I say, smiling.

 “Do I?” He purrs again and smiles when I laugh. “You’re an easy human to please, Rey.”

 “Yeah, I guess so. I’m just sad about my unicorn, really.”

Kylo lifts his fingers and the two parts of my unicorn float right through the closet door. I watch in awe as the head fuses back with the body and comes right to my outstretched hands. I squeeze her tightly and beam, and Kylo goes back to brushing my hair.

 “Thank you,” I chirp.

 “You’re welcome. I can fix anything he destroys.”

Sounds start outside the closet, like ruffling fabric, and his hand drifts down to rub my back. He stops and apologizes but I tell him I don’t mind, and his hand comes back. I _love_ being touched. My first hug was when I met Miss Leia a few years ago after they found me chained in my mom’s basement. She would bring men down sometimes, but they weren’t there to give me hugs.

 “Rey… Do you want to keep living here?”

I frown and look up at Kylo. He tilts his head, searching my eyes, and I shrug.

 “I think I have to,” I say.

 “No, you don’t.” He runs his fingers through my hair again, gazing at it as it slips through. “You can live with me. I’ll bring you wherever you want to go.”

Wow—wherever I want! I sit up in his lap, excited, and almost fall off. He narrowly catches me around the waist and I laugh and cling to his shirt. He rolls his eyes, huffing. I start chattering about all the places I want to go and he tries to fix my hair with one hand and keeps his other arm around me.

I pause. “…But I think my friends will miss me… And so will Miss Leia.”

 “Ah.” Kylo glances at my ring and smiles widely. “We’ll see how you feel in a few more weeks.”

The next couple of weeks are quiet. Daddy tries to talk to me, but I avoid him and Kylo keeps my door locked so he can’t get in and break my stuff again. We sit up together at night and play card games and I think he’s deliberately letting me win, but I don’t mind. He helps me with my math homework and braids my hair while I read. He makes it all knots the first time and gives me a white rose to apologize.

At night Kylo sits on my floor and leans on my bed, staring at the door. Daddy knocks sometimes and sounds kind of sick. He coughs a lot and shuffles around the house. Sometimes he’s drunk and Kylo growls until I pat his head to make him stop. I fall asleep running my fingers through his hair sometimes while he’s leaning on my bed. It’s thick but soft like mine. He purrs and I giggle.

Rose and I have lots of sleepovers. Kylo comes along but she can’t see him like I can. He sits next to me and watches the door while we sleep. She’s adopted and her parents are both very nice. They look at the bruises I have from when daddy grabbed me too hard and Miss Leia comes for a visit the next day.

I leave my room with Kylo behind me and see daddy for the first time in weeks. He looks really skinny and his eyes are sunken in and dark. The place where I punched him looks infected and it has black lines coming out that follow the veins down his neck towards his heart. He glares at me as he opens the door and Miss Leia steps in, smiling.

I squeal happily and run up to jump in her arms and she squeezes me in a hug. She sets me down and her eyes widen when she sees daddy standing there. One time I went to the bathroom after him and saw black, lumpy stuff in the bathtub that looked like puke.

Daddy coughs up black stuff into his elbow. “Sorry—I’ve been so sick the past few weeks.”

Kylo walks up with his hands in his pockets and leans over to smirk at daddy. “Time is almost up.”

 “What do you mean?” I ask, frowning up at him.

Leia and daddy look down at me, confused, and Kylo puts his finger to his lips to tell me to be quiet. I nod and press my lips together and smile at Miss Leia.

 “We received a concerned call about some bruises on Rey,” Leia says, inspecting my arms. “And I see the call was valid. How did you get these, Rey?”

 “…I fell.”

She tells me to go play and goes in the living room to talk to daddy and mommy. Kylo offers me his hand and we go back to my bedroom to play cards on the floor and wait. He brought me another white rose even though the first one hasn’t wilted yet and they’re both right next to my bed.

Miss Leia comes in my room after a while and asks me how I got all my clothes. Daddy leans on the wall and watches us and keeps scratching his neck. I keep trying to dodge the question and she notices the roses and frowns. I can’t tell them about Kylo. He said it’s important that I don’t. I glance at him and see he’s curling his lip at Hux like an angry dog.

 “Does this man ask you to do things, Rey?” Miss Leia asks, touching a rose.

 “No. He’s very nice. He helps me with my homework.”

Daddy sighs. “Maybe that’s where the bruises came from.”

I’m itching to tell Miss Leia about dad coming in my bedroom and touching me, but I’m afraid of getting in trouble, too. My mom I was born to told me I was just as bad as the men she brought to visit me.

Leia says she needs to ‘go over things’ and leaves. Daddy and I stare at each other until the front door shuts and I try to smile. He smiles back, then seizes me by the hair.

I scream when he throws me in my bed and he slaps me over and over again. My fingers grapple on his arms but I’m so sweaty and scared that I can’t hit him. He pushes my face in the pillows and tries to pull down my pants. My head throbs with bad memories I’ve pushed down and I shriek and cry.

 “Kylo!” I wail. “HELP ME!” I struggle to catch my breath and scream again. “PLEASE HELP ME!”

 “Is that his fucking name?!” Hux snaps in my ear. “Are you letting him fuck you?! Where does he live?!”

  _“I’m right here.”_

Daddy is suddenly yanked off me and flung against the wall across the room. I keep sobbing and try to pull my pants up and Kylo appears at the edge of my bed and helps me. I watch around his arm through my tears as daddy is flung back and forth on the floor like something is swinging him around by his foot. Kylo murmurs to me and wraps me in my comforter and lifts me into his arms. I curl up and shiver and cry and he gives me my unicorn.

Hux’s limp body falls on the ground. I stare as we walk past him and his eyes are wide. Blood trickles out of his mouth and his arms and legs are bent at weird angles.

Kylo rests his cheek on my head. “It’s okay, little one. You’re safe.” I feel his cheek move like he’s smiling. “I shouldn't intervene, but... the curse was taking too long. Now he can't hurt you anymore.”


	4. Opus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the end of this is my fave so far because rey's just like 'k bye nice seeing u'
> 
> and i wanted blood drinking to be more of a bonding thing between them the the usual sexual undertones it has. at least for now because she's so young and i don't want him like lusting after a small child

We disappear when we walk outside of the house and reappear at a hotel. It makes me really dizzy and I absently stick my thumb in my mouth like I did when I was a baby to help myself calm down. Kylo carries me up the stairs to the end of the balcony and I hear a lock click. We go inside and the door shuts behind us. I yawn, still sniffling from crying, and Kylo gently sets me on the edge of the bed.

He kneels in front of me and helps wrap my blanket tight around my body. He smiles and wipes the tears off my cheeks with two passes of his big palms and brushes my hair back from my face, trying his best to fix it. I hiccup and take a few hard breaths and he clicks his tongue. The mini fridge opens and a bottle of water floats over, and he opens it for me and holds it so I don’t have to let go of my unicorn.

I’ve barely looked around the room because I’m so upset. It’s small and has green carpet with all kinds of weird framed pictures on the yellow walls. I turn and notice there’s only one bed. It doesn’t matter, anyway. Kylo can’t sleep—that’s how he stays up at night and guards me.

 “We can live together, Rey.”

I blink and look at Kylo again. “But my mom is still at home.”

 “She can’t take care of you.” He shakes his head, brown eyes searching mine, and his lips tremble like he’s nervous. “But I can. I won’t hurt you, and I won’t let anyone else hurt you.”

 “Well… maybe things will be better now. When dad wakes up maybe he’ll feel better.”

Kylo touches my knees, still staring at me, and my spine prickles. He keeps talking and I narrow my eyes at his hands on my legs. Grr. What does he want?

I shake him off and stand up, nervous. “What do you want from me, anyway? Why—Why do you follow me around and give me presents? Are you trying to trick me?”

He waves his hands. “Of course not! I was hunting in the area and you were flickering like a beacon. I’ve never seen it in a human before so I decided to investigate.” He shrugs and smiles weakly, showing some fang. “I like being around you, little one. You’re very calming.”

 “Well my mom and dad need me!”

 “You can’t go back there.”

I storm over to the door and jiggle the handle a few times. Daddy’s sick; that’s why he got confused and attacked me. He smiled at me right before. It was a mistake. I’ll go home and make everything right and I’ll get the mommy and daddy I always wanted.

A whistle distracts me. “Rey—look, Rey.”

Rose is sitting on my bed next to Kylo in her blue nightgown and she blinks a few times like she’s confused. She smiles when she sees me but she doesn’t squeal like usual. I gasp excitedly and race over to hug her, bowling her over, and she keeps blinking real slow. Her pupils are big.

 “Rose is here!” I chirp, beaming up at Kylo. I eye him, then shrug. “I guess one more sleepover is okay. Do we have any games to play?”

 “Whatever you want, little one.”

Rose doesn’t talk much, which is kind of weird. Her arms are moving slow and I huff impatiently and help her with Go Fish a few times. Kylo sits on the floor next to me and leans his head on the bed near my leg, eyes half-closed while I run my fingers through his hair. His eyes keep switching from brown to red and I frown. Rose looks around like she’s lost.

 “What’s up with your eyeballs?” I ask.

He pokes his fangs with the tip of his tongue. “I need to feed.”

 “Oh.” I cock my head. “What do you eat?”

 “Negative energy. Blood.”

I scrunch up my face in distaste and stick out my tongue. That’s gross. I still don’t really get what exactly Kylo is, but he’s nice to me and that’s all that matters. I turn back to my game with Rose and look down at my skinny forearms. I’m glad that I don’t have to drink blood.

We sit there quietly for a while longer until it gets dark. Kylo disappears with Rose and comes back after I’ve showered and settled into bed. He’s licking his mouth a lot as he sits at the edge of the bed and faces the door like usual. I yawn and scoot to the side to touch his hair and we both fall silent for a long time. Kylo leans his head on my arm and I smile.

 “I’m sorry for touching you earlier without your permission.”

My hand pauses on top of his head. “…You are?”

He tilts his head back to look at me and nods. “Of course. I was worried you were going to leave… but it won’t happen again.”

I kind of want to remind him that _everyone_ says that, but Kylo has been very nice about it in the past. I don’t mind back rubs and I love having my hair touched. I get nervous when hands go below my waistline. It makes my brain hurt. It scares me.

 “Okay,” I chirp. I wriggle my hand for his. “Can we cuddle?”

Kylo smiles and squeezes my hand. “Soon. When I’m hungry I can get confused and I don’t want to bite you by accident.”

 “Awww.” I pout for a second, then turn my forearm up. “D’you want some of my blood?”

I thought it was a pretty nice offer, but his face goes blank. I bob my arm off the edge of the bed and raise my eyebrows. I’m curious to see how exactly he drinks blood and I want to help him. He _did_ save me from my dad and bought me a bunch of presents.

Kylo turns to face me. Still staring. “…Are you sure?”

 “Why not?” I wave my arm around and sag into the pillows. “I can make more.”

When he doesn’t answer I roll my eyes and start to turn on my side. I’m a little offended. But he grabs my wrist and tugs me back and I laugh when he takes a deep breath near my wrist. Two long fangs pop out of his mouth like a vampire and I squirm closer to watch. Pain isn’t a big deal to me. I’m used to being hit and kicked and I never even cry when the doctor gives me shots, so—

He bites down and I feel stinging for a split second before it stops. Kylo squeezes my forearm and closes his eyes and I giggle, breathless, and marvel at the sensation of my blood being sucked out of me. My heart quickens for a minute then slows down again. He purrs in his throat and his eyes roll open, bright red again, then his pupils get thin like a snake’s when he looks at me. I grin and he smiles as his lips move across my skin. It feels… nice. It’s relaxing, like having my hair touched.

It doesn’t last long. He pulls back with a pop and my blood immediately stops flowing. I sit up in bed to check out the spot where he bit me and only see two tiny pinprick marks that disappear while I stare at them. I wave my arm around, expecting something more dramatic, and a bottle of apple juice pops up in front of me. I look up at Kylo as he sits on the edge of the bed.

 “You might get a little dizzy,” he explains. He opens it and licks his lips while I guzzle it down. “Your blood tastes sweet.”

I scowl and spill juice down my chin and he laughs and wipes it up with his thumb. Blood tastes like pennies. Maybe he _is_ a weirdo.

 “Cuddles!” I demand. I don’t have to pretend to be nice to him like I do with everyone else. I grab Kylo’s arm and yank him closer, scooching to give him room.

He sighs like it’s a big inconvenience and I drop the empty bottle on the floor as we get under the covers. I’m still in my clothes from school but I don’t mind. I crawl closer, ecstatic, and nuzzle under his chin, frowning at his scratchy beard. He hesitates again like he always does then suddenly wraps his arms around me and squeezes me against his chest. I smile and curl my hands between us as he runs his fingers through my hair.

 “I suppose that I’m a bit of an embarrassment to my kind at this point,” Kylo mumbles. He noses into my hair and sighs. “Ah well.”

I have school tomorrow, but I’m too tired to care. I doze off to the sound of him humming.

When I wake up, Kylo has breakfast for me and a change of clothes. I wolf down my cereal and change in the bathroom and we walk together instead of doing the disappearing thing. He holds my hand while I kick rocks out of my way and hum whatever he was humming last night. Leaves skitter past us.

 “I’m going to look for a place for us to live while you’re in school,” Kylo says when I finally stop talking to take a breath.

 “Okie dokie. Will you get my things for me?”

 “Of course.”

I don’t want to go home to mom and dad. I like Kylo, I decided. He’s nicer and I don’t have to pretend to be happy when I’m around him. I can get upset and I’m not punished for it.

At school he lifts me up to hug me and kisses the side of my head. I squeal and laugh until he puts me down and he brushes my hair back from my face. He looks more upset to leave me than I am to leave him and I turn to run up to Rose when I see her heading for the doors.

Kylo grabs my backpack and I stumble back. I scowl and his jaw shifts before he squats to hug me again, now making me mad. My friends are waiting!

 “Gotta go!” I say, wriggling free and running off.

When I turn around he’s still standing there with his hands in his pockets. I shoo him and he smiles and waves once before he disappears. Finally. Sheesh. Doesn’t he have a job?

School is a lot more fun now that I have friends. Rose seems kind of sleepy and sad, though, and I hug her a lot to make her feel better. I promise we can hang out at my new house when I leave and almost don’t notice Miss Leia waiting for me by the doors in a sweater and khakis. She looks sad, too—and nervous. I wonder why.

 “Oh, Rey—thank heavens you’re okay!” She hugs me and holds my shoulders. “We found Hux this morning and Phasma said you left with a man. Where did he take you?”

Blegh, I’m sick of dealing with these adult things. I roll my eyes and motion for her to follow me but she helps me into her car instead. Uh oh. Kylo wanted to pick me up from school.

We drive to the hotel and I climb out and skip upstairs to the room where we’re staying. Leia is texting someone and insists on walking in before me when I get the door open. I shrug and follow her and gasp when I see a pile of candy on my bed. Yay, treats!

Leia stops me. “Rey, who is this man?”

I squirm under her arm and plop in the bed to chow down. “I dunno. I met him a couple months ago. Don’t worry; he’s very nice to me. He doesn’t touch me like the other men do.” I kick my feet, shrugging. “Daddy attacked me the other night and Kylo made him stop. We’re going to live together.”

 “Honey, wait. Mr. Hux attacked you? You can’t live with this Kylo person. We have to find you a new home, okay?”

That makes me mad. I sit up and puff and grind my teeth and growl like Kylo does. Miss Leia looks a little surprised, but her eyes really widen when the front door slams shut behind her. I can’t see him, but I know he’s in the room. My shadow gets longer on the floor and I chew with my mouth open and watch it creep towards Leia. She takes a step back, staring at it.

 “Be nice,” I chastise gently. “She’s just trying to help me. Told you they wouldn’t want me living with you.”

  _“Too bad.”_

The shadows crawl up Leia’s legs like snakes and she stumbles towards the door. It flings open again and her gaze flickers up to me. I wave and smile and chew my chocolate bar.

 “Bye, Miss Leia!” I chirp. “It was nice seeing you!”

Then it shuts with a loud bang and the lock twists. Kylo appears in the middle of the room and the shadows hiss and moan as they draw into his and vanish. I clap—neat!

He glares at the door. “That should keep her away for the time being.” Then he looks at me and brightens. “Are you ready to go home, little one? I found a place where we won’t be bothered. How was school? Tell me all about it.”

I launch into a story about my day and struggle to grab all my candy while holding Kylo’s hand. He brushes his fingers through my hair and we disappear from the hotel while Miss Leia bangs on the door and yells outside. Sheesh, I told her I was okay.


	5. Utopia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a tad short MY B

Our house is a tiny old cabin in the middle of the woods and I love it. There isn’t even a dirt road that leads to it and we’re surrounded by big tall trees and birds. I twirl in a circle and gasp when I see the sun through the trees and watch some squirrels jumping around, staring at Kylo and me. He touches my back to guide me inside and I race through the door, clapping my hands.

All the floors are wood and there’s a living room with a TV. The couch is brown and looks super soft, and a recliner with my unicorn is right next to it. I race down the hall to check the other rooms and find a bathroom with sailboat decorations and my bedroom. Kylo doesn’t sleep, so he doesn’t need one, I guess. But _mine_ is pink and frilly and filled with all kinds of cool stuff.

My presents are all here and Kylo even put them away for me. I have my own white dresser and bed and a fuzzy pink carpet. I’m not sure how he did it, but I’m too young to care. There’s a closet full of more toys and a tall mirror where I can check my clothes before I go to school. Neat!

Kylo watches me from the doorway and smiles while I pick through everything and shove candy down my throat. He ambles over to sit with me on the floor with his chin in his palm, nodding as I go through each and every thing and say thank you. The house is very quiet and I like it. No arguing or crying and I don’t have to worry about Hux coming into my bedroom.

I play until it gets dark out and fall asleep on the floor surrounded by toys. Kylo puts me in bed, because I wake up later in his arms and yawn and stretch my arms until I feel his face. He growls a bit and I giggle and growl back. We’re all alone in our house and it’s quiet and safe.

But I start to get sad because I can’t go to school. Kylo brings Rose for visits sometimes and she stares off into space and doesn’t do much with me. A few weeks go by and I wish I had a mommy again, too. Kylo is nice, but he isn’t a mommy _or_ a daddy. I think he’s my guardian angel, maybe.

 “What’s wrong, little one?”

I’m sitting on the porch watching the sun going down. I turn and smile when I see Kylo and he smiles back and comes to sit behind me on a higher step and rests his chin on top of my head. One of his arms drapes over his knee and the other gently grasps my forearm when I offer it to him. I frown at the horizon as his fangs slip under my skin and lean back on his chest while he drinks. He never asks—he just accepts if I offer.

 “I miss having a mommy,” I sigh.

Kylo purrs. His lips move on my skin and I idly take his hand to bend his fingers. Crickets chirp in the bushes and the smell of fall is in the air. It’s my favorite season. I shiver from a cool breeze and the soothing feeling of my blood gushing out of my artery. Kylo says blood from veins tastes like dirt.

He finishes drinking and my heart skips a beat as the bite heals over. He dips his long nose into my neck and hugs me. I hold his forearms and keep gazing into the distance. I love him, but I miss people.

 “Will that make you happy?” he murmurs. “A mother?”

 “Oh, yes. Very much.” I shrug and rest my cheek on the side of his head. “I love you, though. I just miss having a mommy to hug.”

Another purr rolls in his chest. “I know, Rey. I love you, too. Let me see what I can do.”

Kylo brings me back in the house and I take a shower before we go to bed together like always. He runs his fingers through my hair and keeps his other hand curled around mine between us and I yawn a bunch of times before I fall asleep. Num num. Sleepy.

 “Rey.”

I blink awake and sit up in bed to see Kylo standing in the door. He smiles and beckons me with one long finger and I jump out of bed in my green nightgown and follow him into the kitchen.

Miss Leia is there! She’s cooking breakfast in a silver pan and her hair is done up in a bun. Her hazel eyes turn to me and she smiles like she’s nervous but gives me a hug when I run up to her. She’s dressed in a pretty sweater and khakis again. She goes back to cooking and keeps smiling, eyes flickering.

 “Hi, Rey,” she says. “It’s so good to see you… sweetie. Why don’t you go wash up for breakfast?”

It’s better than I ever could’ve imagined. I give Kylo a great big hug on my way to the bathroom and he bends over to hug me back really tight like he always does. Then I run off to brush my teeth and get dressed. Miss Leia is my mommy—probably the best one on the _planet!_

All of us eat breakfast together. Mommy doesn’t have much of an appetite, though. She only nibbles some of her eggs and trembles when she does. Kylo just watches me eat through lidded eyes and smiles when I grin with a mouthful of bacon. He’s the best. I wonder how he convinced Miss Leia to come live with us? Oh well. It doesn’t matter because she’s here and I can hug her all the time.

Mommy keeps looking around but never straight at Kylo. I don’t think she can see him. He flashes all his jagged fangs at me and I bare my teeth and her gaze wanders in confusion. Kylo smirks and taps the tip of my nose with his talon and I try to bite it before he pulls back.

 “Rey,” she says, smiling tightly, “how… how are you?”

 “Good!” I shovel more food down and Kylo frets and mutters ‘take smaller bites.’ “Like I told you, Kylo is very nice to me. I play all day and take a bath at night and we go to bed together.”

She leans closer. “…Does he touch you at all?”

Kylo stiffens and his eyes turn blood red. Long, spindly shadows stretch out of him and slither across the table towards mommy’s throat and her eyes get wide and scared. They creep up the front of her shirt and I can hear weird whispering. I keep eating and yawn.

 “Just making sure!” she exclaims, waving her hands. “I want to know that she’s safe.”

I shoot Kylo a dirty look. “Don’t be mean.”

He rolls his eyes and the shadows draw back to him. Mommy keeps shaking and Kylo snaps and her plate jangles on the table. She jumps in surprise and he scowls.

 “Tell her to eat,” he says. “Or _else.”_

 “Kylo says ‘eat or _else_ ,’” I parrot back with my mouth full of food. “He’s right, mommy—breakfast is the most important meal of the day.”

Leia eats and her eyes look watery but I know she has no reason to cry. I beam at her.

We spend the rest of the day playing outside. Kylo watches from the porch and I notice he keeps frowning at mommy. He scratches his jaw and smiles at me and I wave madly. Leia looks around while she helps me pick flowers. I see a black bracelet on her ankle. That’s cool! I wonder if I can have one, too. Kylo will find it for me.

Mommy comes in my room to read me a bedtime story. Kylo leans on the wall with me between his legs, dozing off on his chest, and he braids my hair. It’s dark and a breeze blows in the window, bringing in the smell of pine trees and rain. Leia sits in the rocking chair and her voice sounds unsteady for a while before she starts crying. I sit up straight and get tense and nervous.

Black smoke drifts from Kylo’s fingertips and mommy inhales it. She stops crying and her pupils get big and black and she smiles wide and goes back to reading. I frown but Kylo purrs and settles me in my spot again. He leans over my shoulder to splay his big hands under mine and lets me keep pressing my palm to his to compare sizes while mommy reads in the background. It’s nice. I want Rose to visit tomorrow.

When I’m too tired to stay awake anymore, mommy kisses my forehead and I hug her. She keeps smiling and leaves my room and the door swings shut behind her.

Kylo crawls under the covers with me and threads his fingers through mine. I wriggle up to kiss his forehead and he kisses the tip of my nose and smiles when I laugh. He sighs and nuzzles into my chest so I can pet his hair and the house gets quiet and still like always. I work out the knots while he purrs.

 “I want a black bracelet like mommy,” I chirp.

His purring stops and he looks up at me, blinking. “Ah—no, you don’t. I have something else for you when you’re older, Rey.”

 “Awww… Can I have it now?”

 “No, no; not yet. You have to be patient.” Kylo curls back into his spot. “We’ll discuss it again on your eighteenth birthday, maybe. Whenever you’re an adult human.”

I narrow my eyes. “Explain.”

 “…I’m going to bite you and we’ll be together forever.”

 “You already bite me.”

 “This is a different type of bite, Rey. For adults.”

I nod, furrowing my eyebrows and touching his hair. Adult biting—for adults. I’m not an adult. Makes sense. Then I wrap my arms around his head and we fall asleep that way—well, I do—and the quiet night stretches on. Together forever… that sounds good to me.


	6. Pariah

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kylo just letting humans be their shitty selves -shrug-

Time goes by fast with Kylo and Miss Leia.

We spend the days outside usually, picking flowers or collecting bugs and salamanders. Kylo drifts along behind us and listens when I tell him about the different things I find, even though I’m sure he knows about them. He stares at mommy sometimes with a frown like he’s confused but just shrugs when I ask what’s wrong. He’s never more than a few feet away from me.

Mommy calms down after a few months and stops crying so much. She tries to leave once or twice and big shadowy hands sprout out of the ground and grab the pretty bracelet on her ankle so she can’t go. Kylo gives her the black smoke and she relaxes and her pupils get big.

Rose can’t come over as often. She starts sagging when she plays with me in my room and one time when I reach out and touch her, her skin peels off on my fingers. Kylo brings her home and tells me he’ll find me a new friend if I want one. It happens right around my eighth birthday and makes me cry for days. I miss going to school and seeing my friends, but I don’t want to be ungrateful and ask to go back.

Four years go by in the blink of an eye.

We’re sitting on the porch, me between Kylo and Leia while I lick frosting off my fork. It’s my tenth birthday and I already know what I want to ask for. School.

 “I remember my son’s tenth birthday,” Leia says, smiling sadly. She stares off a lot. She brushes my hair from my face. “He was a quiet little thing, though—nothing like you, Rey.”

I beam at her and Kylo grasps my chin to jerk my face towards him. He licks his thumb and wipes frosting from the corner of my mouth and I wriggle away and scowl. He’s always telling me to brush my hair and my teeth and I don’t want to. I like being dirty.

Leia rests her chin in her hand. She can’t see Kylo like I can and now she just ignores it when he talks to me. Sometimes she’ll talk out into the air, but he never responds to her directly. He goes through me or just does whatever she asks of him. Once he caught her staring while I fed him from my arm and he got mad and threw her out of the room. Now he drinks at night when we’re alone and I’m reading.

 “He’d be forty or so by now,” Leia continues. “We lost him when he was twenty-eight.”

I don’t really care about her story. I lean my head on Kylo’s arm and he looks bored, too, and tells me it’s time for bed. Leia stays on the porch while he and I go inside.

It’s a typical night. I take a shower and go to my bedroom to find Kylo sitting there already, gazing out the window. He blinks and lifts the sheets for me and I casually offer him my arm as I open my book of the week. This one is _A Girl of The Limberlost._ It’s pretty good.

 “So, um…” I glance at his blissed-out expression and shrug. “I was thinking that maybe I can go back to school again.”

Kylo pauses and his fangs slide out of my skin. He licks his lips, ending the feeding early, and raises an eyebrow.

 “Why?” he asks. “Are you unhappy here?”

 “Well, no, but I miss having friends to hang out with.” I shrug sheepishly. “I don’t know; it’s stupid.”

He cocks his head, studying me, pressing his lips together. Then a smile slowly spreads across his face.

 “No,” Kylo murmurs, “it’s not stupid. That sounds like an excellent idea.”

 “…Really? You’re not mad?”

His long fingers unfurl to brush under my chin. “How could I ever be mad at you?”

It’s a fair point. I squeal happily and throw my book to fling my arms around his neck and he squeezes me tight like he always does. He says he needs to get some things in order first but I can go in two days or so. We stay up late and I chatter about how excited I am to see all of my friends again. Kylo smiles and nods and I fall asleep in his arms like always with him stroking my hair.

Leia makes me a lunch in the morning and I leave with my fingers threaded through Kylo’s. We appear at the same school I attended when I was a baby and I bounce excitedly on the balls of my feet. I start leading him towards the doors and he pulls me gently to a stop.

 “I can’t go with you, Rey,” he says. “You have to be a big girl and do this on your own.”

Oh… My heart quickens nervously and I look over my shoulder, biting my lip. Well, I can do that. I’ve been alone before. Just… not for a long time. But my friends will remember me.

 “Okay,” I mutter. “But you’ll be here at three, right?”

 “Of course, little one.” He smiles and kisses the top of my head. “Be good—and don’t be afraid to use your ring.”

Can’t forget it—the darn thing won’t come off. I smile back and wave and trot to the doors.

It’s the middle of winter and everyone has their coats on. I don’t really know where I’m supposed to go but I ask the nice receptionist and she helps me to my classroom. There are lots of kids. It makes me anxious being around so many people. I play with my ring, spinning it on my finger, and peer inside my fifth-grade classroom.

Everyone is… bigger. We have desks without cubbies and a big whiteboard. All the colors are gone and I notice people are hanging out in little groups. I wring my hands and swallow. I made friends really easily in first grade so how much harder can that be in fifth grade?

But I don’t see Rose anywhere. She must be in a different class. I’m a lot more insecure than I was as a six-year-old and I eventually sit in a chair in the back of the room and put my backpack in my lap. The teacher doesn’t notice me or say my name and the other kids stare.

I walk in the big cafeteria at lunch time and feel like everyone is staring. It makes me sick to my stomach and I hurry to the bathroom to eat my lunch alone on the toilet. I nibble my sandwich and my lower lip trembles. Soon I start crying and drizzle my food in tears. Kylo always comes when I cry, so where is he? Why can’t he come be my friends at school?

The day crawls by. I don’t get what we’re doing in class and I can’t find Rose. I rush out the doors when the bell rings to let us loose and try to hide my tears. I’ll try again tomorrow. I don’t want Kylo to worry or think I need to stay home.

He’s waiting under a tree, watching the other kids with his hands in his pockets. He smiles at first but frowns when he sees me wiping my eyes and squats in front of me. My lip quivers again and I burst into tears and admit I was lonely and scared and confused.

 “You just have to try again,” Kylo says, wiping my tears away with his thumbs. “Don’t worry, Rey.”

Oh… well if he thinks so, that’s good. I nod and we go back home, where I tell mom all about my awful day and pick morosely at my meatloaf. School was so fun when I was little. What happened?

I do my best to make friends and introduce myself to my teacher. Her name is Miss Oliver and she apologizes for not introducing me to the class. But the groups are tight-knit and I can’t break into any of them, nor can I find Rose. I sit alone on the playground on my fifth day, crying again, and wish I never asked to go back to school. Why are people so mean?

 “Are you _crying_?”

A familiar boy is standing a few feet away with a basketball under his arm. Poe Dameron, the one who grinned at me all the way back when I was in first grade and he was in third grade. Now he’s in seventh grade and all the girls follow him around like dogs. He’s grinning at me.

I scowl. “No! I have allergies!”

Poe walks closer and laughs. “You’re that weird new girl, right? My friend Connix saw you eating alone in the bathroom. Do you drink toilet water?”

I’ve never been so mad before. I jerk to my feet, clenching my fists, and turn my ring. He keeps smirking at me and bounces the basketball to one of his friends and they all laugh when I throw a punch.

He catches my wrist and the sharp part of the ring doesn’t cut him like it cut Hux. I scream when he twists my arms behind my back and pushes my face in the mud—but Kylo doesn’t come. He steps on my head and a group of kids gathers around us and they all laugh at me when Poe tells me to eat dirt. They leave me there, curled in a ball, covered in grass and mud. I hide my face in my hands and cry harder.

Kylo picks me up under the tree. He wipes my shirt off and I shove him back, sniffling and wiping my face with the back of my forearm.

 “Why didn’t you help me?!” I demand. “Poe shoved my face in the mud!”

 “Rey, I can’t punish a preteen boy for behaving like a preteen boy. This is the way humans act when they enter adolescence. Cliques, bullying…”

I stomp away from him. “You hurt Hux!”

 “Hux was an adult man who was not behaving the way he should. If you want to mingle with humans, I can’t intervene every time one acts like a human.”

Ugh! We go home and I storm into my room and slam the door shut. I peel off my dirty shirt, still fuming mad, and put on a pair of pajamas to flop down in bed. Humans are awful. They were awful to me when I was a baby and awful to me now. Rose and Leia are the only two nice humans I’ve ever met and I don’t even know where Rose is.

Boy humans are the worst. I think they’re the real demons—not Kylo. He gives me whatever I want and never tries to touch me against my will or make me eat dirt. I read with him and laugh with him. He braids my hair and sits up at night to make sure no one comes in my room and touches me below my waist ever again. And when I have nightmares and wake up screaming, he’s right there.

Kylo comes in my room when night falls. By then I’m crying again into my pillow and I crawl in his lap to cry into his chest instead. He hugs me and sighs. The windows are all closed because snow is coming soon. I’ll spend another winter with him instead of wasting time trying to make friends.

 “You’re too gentle to live with humans,” Kylo murmurs. “They chew you up and spit you out like they did to me. It’s safe here, though, Rey. You know I won’t hurt you.”

 “I know.” I slip my arms around his neck and nuzzle into his skin. “I love you.”

He rubs my back, hugging me tightly. “I love you, too, little one. There’s nothing wrong with you—you’re perfect. The human world is just an ugly place.”

I decide I don’t want to be a part of their stupid world, anyway. Mine is better.


	7. Alone Together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cw for slight underage -- rey is 16, which may or may not be the age of consent wherever you live

The bubble I live in with Kylo and Leia gets tighter from then on. I worry about people finding us, maybe traumatized further by Poe shoving me into the dirt. Sometimes I have nightmares about it and wake up screaming and Kylo is always right there to hold me while I cry. I see humans with big ugly square teeth and they somehow feel more threatening than Kylo’s jagged fangs.

My perfect little life carries on and I spend most of my time with Kylo instead of Leia. I stop calling her my mom and go to Kylo when I get my first period instead of her. He waits outside the bathroom while I struggle to figure out tampons on my twelfth birthday. It makes my body tense up too much, so I decide I’ll use pads instead. I ask Kylo if he ever drinks period blood and he laughs about it for a week straight and it’s the most embarrassed I’ve ever been in my entire life.

My body changes but my mind stays stuck in childlike innocence and ambivalence to the strange life I live. I repress most of my memories from childhood and have no questions or thoughts about sex like most teenagers, and I deliberately ignore the vague hormonal prompts from my body. Kylo still sleeps in my bed with me and drinks from my arm and rubs my back. Neither of us changes.

One night I hear Leia in the kitchen talking out loud to Kylo, telling him I’ve ‘regressed’ and that I need to be around other kids my age. She’s uncomfortable—I can tell—but I don’t get why. Kylo never gives me a reason to doubt him or question his intentions. He doesn’t stare; his touch doesn’t linger. If anything, he withdraws from me physically and spends most of his time talking to me instead.

 “Rey isn’t behaving correctly for her age.”

Leia has a cup of coffee in her hands and I can see Kylo sitting across from her at the kitchen table with his arms folded over his chest. He hasn’t aged a day since we met. I cling to the wall and sink down to the floor to listen to them talk, but it’s all one-sided.

Leia looks around, scowling. “Was that your intention from the start? To take a traumatized little girl and turn her into an infantilized slave?”

Kylo clenches his jaw. His fingers tap on his biceps.

 “What a gilded cage she lives in—but I’m sure it will eventually come at a price. You’re not keeping her here for the fun of it, Kylo. So what are you waiting for?”

The shadows emerge from Kylo like they do every time he’s mad. I watch them slither across the floor to Leia, but she doesn’t seem to care. She stares at the chair he’s sitting in and her scowl deepens. I cock my head, wondering what a ‘gilded cage’ means, losing what Leia is implying. She’s more straightforward when she speaks again.

 “Waiting for her hands to wander?” Leia asks coldly. “You’re relying on her trust in you and I’m expected to sit here and watch this slowly unfold. I’m supposed to watch you manipulate this beautiful, sweet little girl until she ends up giving birth on her fourteenth birthday.”

Kylo jerks to his feet and the chair clatters to the ground. He slams his hands on the table and hisses, enraged, and I see Leia’s hazel eyes finally widen as she sees him for the first time.

 “I would never do that to Rey!” he snarls. “Toxic _wretch!_ She’s safe here from the soul-crushing evil of you filthy, despicable humans! You put her in a home with a beast—you ruined her, and I brought her here to heal the damage YOU inflicted!”

They stare at each other without saying a word. Leia covers her mouth with a trembling hand but Kylo just looks like he wants to rip her throat out. His red eyes are shimmery with tears and the shadows are closing around Leia’s neck, whispering, eager to snuff her out. I watch them and wonder why Leia thinks I would ever give birth with no human boys around. Mouth kisses cause pregnancy.

Leia chokes on a sob. “…Ben?”

I frown and look at Kylo as the darkness abruptly recedes back to him. He freezes for a moment, staring at Leia, then slowly draws back from the table. She shakes her head and breaks down into quiet sobs. I don’t know what’s happening but I know I shouldn’t let them know I’m watching. I cover my mouth as Kylo collapses in his chair and holds his head in his hands, groaning like he’s in pain.

Leia bursts out of her own chair and tries to go to him, but Kylo hisses and staggers away. She reaches out, crying, hands trembling, and he cries, too, and shakes his head. I’ve never seen him cry. I stare in shock at the first passionate emotions I’ve ever seen from Kylo in our six years together.

 “Ben,” Leia pleads, “please let me hug you.” Her cheeks are streaked with tears. “I’ve missed you so much—my sweet baby. Han and I didn’t realize how much pain you were in!” She follows him around the table. “Please—please! I love you so much.”

 “Get away from me!” he screams. The lights flicker in the cabin. “I called you for _weeks!_ You were too fucking busy saving everyone else’s children to worry about me!”

My heart patters with fear. Kylo flips over the table and screams again, clawing his long fingers in his hair, and Leia finally sets a hand on his arm. He lashes out and throws her into the refrigerator and now she’s really hysterical and struggling to get her arms around him. He keeps shrugging her off.

 “Ben!” Leia wraps her arms around one of his and cries into his upper arm. “You were always so emotional, sweetheart. We never thought you’d go through with it. Your father still can’t sleep; he still has nightmares about when he found you. He’ll be so happy to know you’re alive!”

Kylo rips his arm free. “I’m not alive and it’s your goddamn fault. I won’t let the world destroy Rey like it did to me, and I don’t want anything to do with you or Han fucking Solo.”

 “I know you’d never hurt a little girl. I’m so relieved to know it’s you keeping her here. I know you won’t hurt her, my love, and I know you can help her more than anyone else can.” She hugs him around the waist and smiles. “My sweet baby. This world was always too much for you, but I’m so happy to know you’re still here, and—”

In the blink of an eye, they disappear.

I scramble to my feet and walk in the kitchen like they might reappear. It’s empty and quiet and the furniture is all tipped over on the floor. I don’t understand what their conversation meant, but now I know Leia was somehow Kylo’s mom—and his real name is Ben. I silently fix the table and chairs and hover there for a while, wringing my hands before going to my bedroom.

In the middle of the night, I wake up to the sound of crying. Groggy, I squirm up in bed and rub my eyes to see Ben—uh, Kylo—sitting near my door with his face in his hands. I yawn and hop out and wander to him and he reaches his arms to me, cheeks stained with tears. He gathers me in his arms and keeps sobbing into my neck and I nuzzle into his neck. We’re both too gentle for this world.

I like comforting him. I kiss the side of his throat and stand, gently drawing him with me, and lead him to my bed. Leia isn’t here. We’re finally completely alone.

 “I don’t want anything from you, Rey,” Kylo warbles. “Nothing. My mother is a fucking liar.”

 “Don’t swear, Ben. It’s not nice. She’s your mom.”

He doesn’t reject the name. I curl up beside him under the covers like always and he nuzzles under my chin and cries, clinging to me, desperate and sad. But his hands don’t wander. He holds me the same way he always does while I stroke his hair and wish I could know more—but not now.

The only other voice from the outside of the bubble is gone, leaving Ben and I alone in our little utopia. We cling to each other even more and walk together through the woods. Now I know his connection to me is just as deep as mine to him, which is comforting. I still don’t want to be around other people. I love Ben and he loves me and that’s all that matters.

We lie together in a quiet clearing on my sixteenth birthday to watch the stars through the canopy of trees. Ben has his fingers loosely linked through mine and he’s purring beside me. It’s like background noise to me now. I’m taller and our bond is even tighter. My hormones are finally getting the best of me, though, but I pretend they aren’t. I think about him a lot in the middle of the night and feel pleasant tingling between my legs.

Ben glances at me, smiling wryly. “Something wrong, my love?”

 “No…” I tilt my head and squint at the sky. “I can’t believe we’ve been together for ten years.”

 “Neither can I.” His fingers tighten but he doesn’t move closer. “I love you, Rey.”

 “I love you, too, Ben.”

At home I take a shower and climb into bed with him like always. Ben tucks his chin over my head and sighs happily while I close my eyes and nuzzle into his cool neck. Our close contact makes me shiver. But… it’s Ben. I don’t know what my body is telling me.

I don’t know what’s appropriate and what isn’t. I swallow nervously and turn away from him to face the dark space of my bedroom and he sighs, curling his arms behind my back. Ben doesn’t sleep—I know that—but we’re always together and the pressure between my thighs is getting worse. I wait a few minutes before tentatively slipping my fingers into my panties, through my green nightgown. It’s where my body tells me to go and I barely contain a gasp.

Ben remains still behind me and I hope he just hasn’t noticed. I roam deeper, pushing my fingertips inside the wetness with vague curiosity. A small whimper slips through my lips and I curl away from Ben to roam deeper, probing my body, curious to know what it wants.

He doesn’t speak. He slips his hand under my shirt to rub my back while I explore myself and soon I start panting and squirming from the effort. Ben remains still behind me, save for his fingers stroking my spine, and he doesn’t move while I whimper and pump two fingers inside myself. It feels nice. It feels _really_ nice. I roll on my belly and bury my face in the pillows and keep rolling my hips.

Nothing happens. I pass out and get up in the morning and we pretend it didn’t happen. Ben plays a card game with me in the woods and laughs when I beat him.

We go to bed again—and I unsurely explore between my thighs.

Ben breathes in my hair while I push my fingers inside and try to restrain my little pants of pleasure. It feels wrong, but he doesn’t leave. He strokes my back with his talons while I try to rub the parts of me that respond to touch and whimper and desperately thrust. It feels so good. I think of Ben kissing me on the lips and reaching his own fingers to touch the hot hunger there.

A few weeks pass and I keep eagerly experimenting, no longer ashamed. Ben remains silent behind me while I moan and pant and thrust on my fingers. He buries his nose in the back of my neck and I feel his jaw shifting each time I come close to the end and fail to get there. I wind up sighing and falling asleep and wishing I knew how to crest the hill.

When it’s nearing my seventeenth birthday, I peak the hill with a small whimper in my throat. It pulses between my thighs and I thrust weakly into my fingers. Ben’s teeth click together and he stifles a groan while I shamelessly ride out the warm, sweet pleasure. It ebbs away and I try to catch my breath, lazily withdrawing my fingers and wiping the wetness off on my stomach.

I squirm, panting, reeling from it. “What was that?”

 “An orgasm. Did you like it?”

 “Um… yes.” I laugh under my breath, unsure, and feel embarrassed. “I’m sorry. Should I not…?”

Ben’s nose runs along my scalp. “You don’t have to apologize, Rey. It’s your body—touch it however you want.” His fingers brush my back and pull away. “Would you like me to give you some privacy? Sometimes people prefer to do these things alone.”

I blush nervously. “…No. I like having you here.”

 “Oh… Good. I like being here.”

It feels like I’m doing something wrong, but I slip a finger down my panties to see if I can feel the tingling again. Ben’s words bring back the warmth for some reason and he keeps his hands off me while I roll my hips on my hand and struggle to have another orgasm. It feels so good. It’s better than Ben drinking my blood, and I thought that was the best feeling ever.

He shifts closer. “Can I help?”

I hesitate, unsure if I want him below my waistline, then nod. Ben swallows hard and the bed creaks as he rests his chin on my shoulder and touches my upper arm with a trembling hand. He keeps clicking his teeth like he’s nervous and runs his fingers down my arm to my wrist, where he hesitates again. I know he wants permission. He understands that I’m sensitive to exploring fingers.

Ben’s pinky brushes the edge of my pink panties, worming underneath to the top of my hand, and he moves even closer to me. I don’t feel heat on my back, though. He’s cold. He swallows again and his long fingers close over mine as we explore between my thighs together. I bite back whimpers, rolling my hips into our hands, and Ben remains perfectly still. No one has been this far in ages. The last time was when Hux reached his spindly fingers through my horse-printed panties.

Ben slips an arm under my head and curls his arm to he can stroke my hair. He kisses my temple. “Is this okay, my love?”

 “Yes.” I nod, basking in a sense of security and love. “I feel safe.”

 “Okay—good. Tell me if you don’t.”

I nod and unsurely switch my fingers with Ben’s so his are directly touching me _there,_ in my most sensitive, forbidden spot. He kisses my temple again and his lips wander down my face as he tentatively strokes me and his wrist turns a bit, stretching the white panties he brought me. I wring my hands under the sheets until Ben presses his body flush against my back. Something hard touches behind my thigh.

 “Show me the fingers that were down your panties,” he whispers.

When I do, Ben coos appreciatively and his tongue darts out to lick my index finger. He sucks each one into his mouth and struggles closer while I giggle and squirm. He idly strokes my hair from my face and his finger slips through my folds but I don’t feel a sense of nausea like I used to. I relax and pant while he gently maneuvers his fingers under my panties until the warm tension comes back.

My breath hitches and Ben sucks on my finger in his mouth while I moan and bite my lip when the heat snaps and ripples between my thighs and down my legs. I writhe, whimpering in the afterglow, and Ben lifts his own hand to lick the wetness away. My hazy eyes drift across the room as he nuzzles my cheek. I hear his neck crack.

 “You taste so sweet,” he murmurs. “Is that enough for tonight?”

I nod, yawning sleepily. “I think so. I’m tired.”

Ben hums in agreement and I fall asleep for the first time with him curled against my back. But I don’t feel scared or unsure like I did in my foster homes—I just feel a calming sense of peace, and I know I can trust the demon beside me with absolutely anything.


	8. Specter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH NO BEN  
> while poe chills

Suddenly, weirdly, things change.

I wake up in the morning with Ben’s arm around my waist and his nose in my hair and the scent of… me clinging to the bed. My cheeks feel hot and I rub my thighs together, reflecting on last night with increasing embarrassment. It was different when I touched myself and pretended Ben didn’t know. Now he’s involved in it and acknowledged it. Awkward.

I shouldn’t have these feelings at all. It’s dirty. My mind wanders to Hux and I shiver at the memory of him cooing to me and touching me there. Ben’s nothing like Hux, but I can’t shake the feeling that it’s an inherently dirty thing. People do nasty stuff just to have an orgasm.

Ben shifts behind me, sensing that I’m awake, but he doesn’t say ‘good morning’ like usual. He nuzzles closer, body flush against my back, and his fingers twitch near my stomach. My heart pounds when he idly reaches his hand under my nightgown to stroke my belly and steadily draws his fingertips upward, leaving a tingly trail across my skin. I swallow nervously and he pauses under my breasts.

 “Can I show you something else that feels good?” he murmurs.

I nod once. Ben’s hand slowly slides across one small breast and he palms it for a second, easily enveloping the whole mound. His other arm is still curled under my head so he settles back and brushes my hair with his fingers while I make small sounds under my breath and curl my toes. He strokes my nipple with the pad of his thumb and a nice, peaceful sensation drifts through me.

My eyes are heavy. “It feels different.”

 “Mhm. Tell me about it.”

 “…Relaxing? Not like hot and desperate.” I yawn and snuggle into my pillow. “I could fall back asleep.”

Ben hums, absentmindedly running my hair through his fingers. “Go ahead, my love.”

Alright. I yawn again and doze off with Ben’s hand up my nightgown.

When I wake, kind of disoriented, he’s already brushing his fingers down my stomach. I blink a few times and shift my hips as his fingertips stroke my panties. He kisses my temple as they slip underneath and I whimper groggily, creaking the bed in the utter silence. His wrist turns and he stretches my panties to dip his finger into the wetness further down and rubs me in small circles. My eyes blindly roam the room and I pant, surprised and weirdly aroused.

 “Good morning,” he whispers.

Ben keeps going until I’m rolling my hips into his touch and clutching at the edge of my mattress. He draws me back to him with one pull of his arm and allows his other hand to drape down and stroke my nipple through my gown. I grab his wrist, squeezing, moaning now and feeling desperate again. It’s almost like it’s too much stimulation in one spot and I consider rolling over and rubbing on my bed.

But the tension coils and snaps and I wriggle harder as pleasure courses through me. I bite my lower lip and breathe hard through my teeth and Ben exhales sharp and hard in my hair. He grits his teeth.

The weirdness comes back. I swallow and climb out of bed, adjusting my nightgown, and scurry to the bathroom to wash up. When I come out, Ben has breakfast on the table for me and he’s sitting there with his arms crossed. He smiles and I uncomfortably smile back.

 “I have to go out for a while today,” Ben says, watching me eat. “Will you be okay alone?”

 “Yup,” I mutter.

We don’t talk much otherwise. Ben leaves and I wash my dishes when I’m done with breakfast. He goes home to check on his parents sometimes, but he still won’t speak to them. He never explained how he died or why he was so mad at them—all he said was that he died and came back as a demon. It’s obviously a sore spot so I don’t bring it up again.

The weather is nice. I decide to go for a walk to clear my head and slip into my jacket before heading outside into the cool September morning.

Leaves crunch underfoot while I walk with my hands in my pockets, following the familiar path Ben cut through the woods for me. It’s safe out here. We’re quite literally in the middle of nowhere and Ben assures me that no one can possibly find us. He only leaves me alone every once in a great while and I think he specifically did this time to give me some space to think.

A squirrel watches me from the trunk of a tree, tail flicking. It skitters away when I come too close and clicks in annoyance from high up in the branches. I take long, deep breaths of the cool air, closing my eyes. My relationship with Ben is completely different now. It’s not bad, but I feel like I’m at sea because it’s all new to me, and it’s _Ben._ He’s always been there on the fringes and I never—

 “Hello?”

My eyes widen and I spin around at the sound of a familiar voice.

Poe Dameron is standing a few yards away in clothes that look like they’re meant for hiking. He has a backpack on and he’s not the same short kid who beat me up in fifth grade. I stare at him, heart pounding, and he squints and takes a step toward me. My ring feels heavy on my finger.

 “Are you—?” He squints, shielding his eyes with a hand. “Rey? Jesus, what are you doing out here? It’s been a while!”

  _“Are you crying?”_

I back away from him and turn and run. He calls ‘wait!’ but I’m not about to do that. I race back to the house, praying I can get there and lock the door before Poe catches up to me. When I glance over my shoulder, I’m horrified to find he’s gaining on me and still calling my name. He’s going to catch me and humiliate me like he did on the playground and Ben isn’t here to save me.

We reach the end of the trail, opening to the clearing with the house, and I stumble on my way to the front door. I fall in the grass and look wildly behind me and see Poe slowing down, frowning at the cabin. He drops his backpack to the ground and keeps talking while I hurriedly crawl back on my palms and feet. Get away, get away, get—

A low boom and a shrieking sound precedes Ben appearing beside me in a cloud of black smoke. He’s an enormous shaggy black dog, bigger than a bear, and he snarls at Poe as he freezes with wide eyes. Ben’s red eyes are tight and angry and drool oozes from his mouth layered with jutting, intimidating fangs. He shakes his head, tossing his mane of fur, and breaks into a run straight towards Poe Dameron.

Poe yelps in fear and falls just like I did and Ben descends on him in an instant. He stands over my former tormentor, still growling and snarling, then lifts his head and howls into the empty forest like he’s savoring the moment. I catch Poe’s terrified eyes and when he covers his face as Ben turns his jaws on him, I scramble to my feet.

 “Stop!” I shout.

Ben hesitates inches from closing his maw over Poe’s entire head. He growls and puts a huge paw on his chest to keep him in place, shifting slightly to look back at me. Trembling, I dust off my pants and shake my head. Poe alternates between staring at Ben and staring at me.

 “Just let him go,” I say. “He’s not worth it.”

Truthfully, I don’t want to watch Ben kill someone, and the fear on Poe’s face is familiar and painful to see. Ben doesn’t seem happy about it but he lets Poe up and walks back over to me, shifting back into his human form and disappearing from Poe’s view, based on the look of shock he gets. I smile and wrap my arms around Ben’s waist and he hugs me back, burying his face in my neck.

Poe stands up and holds his hands out defensively. “What the hell was that?! Listen, I just got lost out here and I’m trying to get home!”

 “Let me get rid of him,” Ben sighs.

 “No, be nice.” I squeeze tighter. “Leave him out here to figure it out himself.”

That was much better. No blood on our hands. Ben shrugs and leads me into the cabin while Poe keeps calling out my name and asking for help until the door shuts and I can’t hear him anymore.

We spend the day inside, me reading while Ben rests beside me with his eyes closed. I glance at him a few times, itching to talk about what we did last night, but the timing seems off. Poe is outside on our porch with his backpack so we don’t have complete privacy. Ben can bring him back to human society but now he knows where the cabin is and he might bring more people.

I set my book aside as my room grows darker and wring my hands. “Should we really just leave him out there?”

 “I _should_ kill him but leaving him to die alone in the woods is a nice alternative.” Ben opens one eye. “I’m sorry he scared you, Rey.”

 “It’s fine. I was just walking around to clear my head.”

 “Ah. About last night?”

My cheeks feel hot and I get out of bed to grab a nightgown. “Yeah, a little.” I pick out a white one with matching panties and go in my closet to change. “Mostly I thought about my birthday, though. Two more months.”

When I come out Ben’s changed into sweatpants and a black t-shirt. He smiles and lifts the covers and I lie facing him with my hands curled at my chest. Crickets chirp outside but I can’t hear anything from Poe. Maybe a bear ambled by and ate him.

Ben smiles. “Yes; seventeen. What would you like?”

 “Maybe we can go see the ocean? I liked that when we went the last time.”

 “Of course.” He studies me for a beat, thinking, then moves a bit closer. “Do you remember what I told you when you were younger? About the bite, and being together forever?”

I nod. I remember pretty much everything he’s ever said to me. Ben brushes my arm with his fingertips and his eyes travel up to my throat. His hand follows and touches the edge of my throat where my pulse thrums steadily. I cock my head and giggle when he tickles my skin.

He keeps staring, eyes red. “It will happen soon—but some other things need to happen first.”

Alright. I laugh nervously as Ben cups my jaw in his long fingers and my breath catches when he dips his lips towards mine. He kisses me once, chastely, and his body draws closer to mine when I grasp the front of his shirt. It deepens fast and he slips his tongue in my mouth. His façade of self-control starts to slip away as he groans and abruptly jerks me against him, beginning to lean over me.

It feels good and that’s all I care about. I squirm closer to Ben, desperation blooming in my belly, and he rolls on top of me without another word. He leans some of his weight between my thighs and puts the rest on his forearm and gently rocks his hips into mine. I can feel hard pressure where I usually put my own fingers and for some reason it makes me feel even hungrier than normal. He tries to stifle his breaths but I can tell it feels good for him, too.

Ben’s swollen red lips leave mine, kissing a line down my cheek to my collarbone. “Do you like this?” he coos into my skin.

 “Y-Yes.” I yank on his hips, trying to match his rhythm and push harder. “I want more.”

 “Not yet, Rey. One thing at a time.”

I whine petulantly and Ben fists my nightgown in his hand at the sound. He’s obviously restraining himself and keeps tugging it down to keep more material between us, then sliding it up a few inches. He pants on my neck and his hips snap forward faster when I deliberately keep making whimpering noises. My head is swimming and I’m not thinking straight. I just want more.

Ben pushes my gown up again and I reach down to yank the other side up and settle my hips to keep it draped around my stomach. He takes a sharp breath through his teeth and an odd growling sound rumbles in his chest—it makes me even more desperate to get closer. I push on his sweatpants, trying to shimmy them off his hips, and Ben leaves a sloppy trail of kisses on my collarbone while he hurriedly tries to help me. I take quick, nervous breaths and suddenly feel sharp pain in my neck.

My eyes widen but I’m too surprised to make a sound. Ben’s fangs are buried in my skin, not like when he bites my arm, and he latches on and begins drinking blood. It hurts a little. He abandons pulling off his pants to grab my wrist when I cling to his back and he pins it next to my head. His other hand seizes my jaw, turning it a bit to give him better access to my throat. He groans and shifts lightly, settling in on top of me and taking long, lazy draws from my artery.

He stiffens and pulls back as fast as he bit me in a flash of blood and fangs. The wound seals shut and my heart skips a beat like always as Ben leans back on his calves and stares down at me, blood trickling down his chin and coating his teeth. I stare back at him. He didn’t even ask.

Ben disappears before either of us can say anything.


	9. Vindicate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tbh this is my fave chapter

Ben still isn’t back in the morning.

I pace around the cabin, dressed in jeans and a t-shirt, trying to think of what I want to say to him. I’m… upset. He’s never bitten my neck before and he didn’t ask for permission before he did. My body belongs to me. He can’t do things like that. I have to be firm. I don’t want to argue with him, but offering him my blood is a privilege, so…

Breakfast is sad without Ben sitting next to me. I eat my eggs and bacon and wash the dishes and sit there for a while, drumming my fingers on the table. He’ll be back soon.

Then I get a weird feeling like someone’s watching me and turn to look out the window.

Poe is there, pushing his face against the glass, and he waves when I glare at him. I make a not-so-nice gesture with one of my fingers and he groans and says something that I don’t care about. When I stand up and walk by the door, I hear it creak open and whirl around in terror.

Poe’s eyes widen and he shakes his head, waving his hands. “No—no! I’m not going to hurt you!”

 “Get out!” I snap, lifting a chair from the table. “Ben will be back soon!”

 “Okay, I don’t care about your invisible dog boyfriend; I just need a phone or something so I can get home.” He hesitates and stands in the doorframe. “I’ll stay right here.”

I charge with my chair and Poe yelps and ducks before I smack him in the head with it. The weight makes me teeter over and I squeal in surprise, heading for the floor, but he snags me around the waist before I fall on the legs of the chair. He lets go just as quickly and puts his hands up again but I know better than to trust him. He was a bully when he was in seventh grade and he’s a bully now.

Poe stumbles into another chair. “Look, I know I was a jerk to you when we were kids and I’m sorry. I’m eighteen now and I’m not like that anymore!”

I scowl, clenching my fists. “People never change.”

 “Yeah, yeah, we do, that’s—” He knocks into the wall, still backing up, and circles around the other end of the table. “That’s part of being a person. We make mistakes and apologize and don’t do it again. People change into better people all the time. Can’t expect everyone to be perfect like you, Rey.”

 “I _am_ perfect!” I retort. “Ben tells me all the time!”

 “I bet the pedophile keeping you in the middle of the woods does say you’re perfect, yeah. But you’re not, so…” Poe groans, rolling his eyes. “Can I just use a friggen phone?! You can go back to whatever the hell you’re doing here after I’m gone.”

We spend almost the whole day arguing, me chasing Poe around the cabin and waving different weapons at him. I keep waiting for Ben to pop up, but he never does. I’m left alone to fend off my grade-school bully while he ducks and tries to ask as politely as possible for a phone—which I don’t have.

Nighttime falls. We both end up sitting at the dining room table, annoyed with each other, surrounded by odds and ends strewn on the floor. I intend on being mad for the whole night but I think about how Ben usually lays next to me while I read my book and my lower lip quivers. Poe peers through his fingers covering his face and heaves a sigh as I start crying.

 “What’s wrong?” he asks tonelessly, like he’s asked a thousand girls.

I wipe my eyes furiously. “Ben left me here alone all day! He didn’t even come back when you broke in! He knows he can only drink my blood if I offer it to him but—”

 “Nope,” Poe interrupts, shaking his head quickly. “No. We don’t need to add ‘vampire’ to this backwoods horror story, please.”

 “—But he bit my neck!” I wail, ignoring Poe.

It draws another consternated sound from him but Poe gets up and drags a chair over to awkwardly pat me on the back. I cry and cry until he looks so uncomfortable that he might burst. He rubs my back for a while then goes out to the kitchen to make me tea like Leia did when I was sick. I sniffle and wipe my eyes, watching him with faint curiosity. Huh. He didn’t make fun of me.

Do… Do people change? All the people I’ve ever met have been bad from day one and never showed any signs of turning a new leaf. Ben told me they were all monsters and I basically agreed with him. But Poe is being nice to me, making a cup of tea, and the last time I cried he beat me up. I suddenly feel like it’s not worth being mad about something from so long ago, especially when he’s showed signs of remorse.

I furrow my brow. “I forgive you.”

Poe glances over his shoulder at me and laughs. “Okay. Good.”

The night stretches on. I meekly invite Poe to stay in the house and tell him he can sleep on the couch. The front door won’t lock now, so it doesn’t matter, anyway. We drink tea and he makes dinner: chicken alfredo, which I haven’t had in a long time. I stare at him mostly, looking for signs of the mean kid I met on the playground a few years back, but he seems safe enough.

I cock my head. “Should I forgive Ben?”

Poe blinks at me owlishly while he chews, then shrugs and swallows. “Uh… I don’t know, really. I just pushed your face in the dirt; he drank your friggen blood. Apples to oranges, kid.”

 “I think he was just overwhelmed. We started doing more things in the bedroom, and—”

 “NO!”

 “—And last night he crept on top of me—”

 “NO. NO THANK YOU, REY.”

I don’t care about his red face and him covering his ears. Everyone wants to hear me talk. Duh? Ben always asks me to talk more and no one interrupts me.

Poe walks around the house, trying to get away while I detail every moment of the previous night with Ben, blissfully ignorant to why he’s uncomfortable. He crouches in the bathroom and groans when I launch into how I originally began masturbating and we end the tale back at the dining room table, him with his forehead on the wooden surface and me helping myself to his dinner.

I frown, curling more pasta around my fork. “It’s all so complicated, you know? One minute he’s throwing Hux off me when he has his hands down my pants, and the next, Ben has his hands down my pants.” I chew thoughtfully, then brighten and shrug. “Life sure is funny, huh?”

Poe looks up, now with a big red spot on his tawny forehead. “…Hux?”

 “One of my foster dads.”

 “…Oh.” He looks uncomfortable again, but in a different way. “Uh… how long have you been out here, Rey?”

 “As of today, ten years, forty-five days. Why?”

 “That’s a long time to live alone in the woods with a… poltergeist pedophile. Whatever he is.”

I’ve no idea what a pedophile is so I just shrug it off. “Ben is a demon. He died when he was twenty-eight.”

Then Poe frowns and tilts his head. “Ben Solo? Han and Leia’s kid?”

 “I think so, yeah.” I keep eating, humming, happy to have company. Ben will be back soon.

 “Didn’t he commit suicide?”

The food in my mouth might as well have turned to ash. I freeze in the midst of spinning up more pasta and slowly meet Poe’s gaze, ears ringing. My heart hammers and I feel like I might faint. Suicide?

I swallow somehow. “Ben… committed suicide?”

Poe seems to realize that he said something wrong and he leans back, rubbing his head. “Uh… I don’t know, actually; it was just what I heard.”

 “Ben wouldn’t do that,” I say, laughing. The mirth fades and leaves behind emotions I don’t understand. I’m not used to feeling much other than happiness. “He wasn’t that sad. He had a mom and dad who loved him; he wouldn’t do that to them. His death was an accident.”

 “Probably, yeah. Sorry if I upset you.”

The words sink into my head deeper than I thought. I go to bed with my door locked, chewing my nails, too upset to read a book. Ben would never throw away his life like that. I mean, I know both of us are too fragile to be around other people, but Ben has nice parents and he was happy. He was never that sad. I don’t want to think about him ever being so sad that he feels like he needs to die.

I slip out of bed and pace, moaning and clutching my head. I’m safe here. There’s no sadness or pain. But I can’t stop thinking about Ben being so lonely and depressed that he takes too many pills or shoots himself in the head or jumps off a bridge. He can’t be that sad. He’s the only stability I have and if he was worn down enough by life to end it, then… then… how can I expect him to support all _my_ turbulent emotions, too? Where am I supposed to put them? Where do I lean?

My chest squeezes. I feel like I can’t breathe. I’m so full of fear and anxiety and memories repressed by years of Ben’s constant doting and quiet patience and now he’s not here. I don’t know how to deal with them myself. I don’t want to. If Ben was overwhelmed by being alive, maybe I overwhelmed him, too, and he’s going to leave me forever just like he left his mom and dad.

I gasp like a fish on land and race out of my bedroom to find the only other living thing in the cabin. Poe is passed out on the couch and swears when I jump on him in the darkness, eyes wide, trembling. He hisses a few curses and tries to pry me off, but I cling tight and mutter and try to get as close as possible. He’s _warm._ I can feel his heart pounding in his chest as I give another involuntary shudder.

Poe runs a hand through his hair. “What the hell are you doing?! Do I look like I want your boyfriend to fucking kill me?!”

 “He’s gone,” I weep into Poe’s shirt. “He’s never coming back!”

 “It’s alright,” he mutters. “I doubt he’ll be gone forever if he’s had you here this long.”

The crying really seems to work on Poe. He groans and pats the top of my head like Ben used to while I sob until his shirt is soaked. He smells like soap. You’re welcome for the shower. We’re quiet for a long time—well, he is, while I wail like a banshee—before speaking again.

Lips trembling, I peer up at Poe through my eyelashes. “Will I feel better if I forgive Hux?”

 “Jesus, Rey, I don’t know. That’s more of a your-mileage-may-vary type of forgiveness. Don’t rope me in with these awful people who drink your blood and…” He drops off, sighing and squeezing his dark eyes shut. “Okay, I’m going to sleep, so if you’re staying here we need a barrier because I’m not going to prison before basic training.”

The couch is kind of small but Poe is shorter than Ben so it works. I frown when he shoves a pillow between our hips and he flies into a panic when I grab it and start eagerly rubbing myself on it. Poe tries changing positions a few times, but I keep curling my body up in his until he finally lies on the floor. He catches me trying to join him once or twice so I stare at him until he’s asleep and creep down to lie behind his back, clinging to his shirt and snuggling into his shoulder blades.

It’s an odd experience, falling asleep with someone. I wish Ben could fall asleep with me as I tumble off into unconsciousness with Poe snoring beside me.


	10. Poison

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> good 'ol alcohol, ruining lives  
> i'm an alcoholic, as is my husband and my father, so we're all well acquainted to the shitmonster it turns you into

Days go by and Ben still doesn’t come back—but I slowly start coming to terms with it.

Poe can’t leave because he’s afraid of getting lost again and he gradually admits that he doesn’t want to leave me alone in the cabin. We play cards and read books and I ask him about what the outside world is like. He’s a window into the life I chose to leave behind. I find I’m drawn back to it as the days pass and my questions are answered. People aren’t perfect, and neither am I.

 “You’re going into the military?”

We’re outside on the porch. I’m teaching Poe how to knit, and he’s made about ten potholders. He nods, squinting his dark eyes at his needles, and scratches the beard coming in on his jaw.

 “Air Force,” he says. “I want to be a pilot. Do you ever think of leaving this place?”

I study him and feel a strange sensation in my chest, like the one I feel around Ben. Poe glances at me and smiles, raising his eyebrows, and my heart skips a beat.

 “Sometimes,” I mumble.

We have to spend more time inside as rain starts falling more often and more heavily. The days turn to a week, then two, then three.  There aren’t any razors in the house and I poke fun at Poe as his beard steadily grows and he starts looking like a mountain man. He makes fun of me once for not shaving me legs but doesn’t again when I cry for hours about it. He hates when I cry.

I teach him to sew and he teaches me rummy. Poe stops muttering about how he needs to go home. He makes me a small box out of a fallen tree we find on one of our walks to keep my woodland treasures in. I learn how to make a fire with sticks. Poe reads _A Girl of the Limberlost_ and says it’s lame.

About a month after Ben bit me and disappeared, Poe is cleaning the kitchen while I read in the dark living room; another day lost to heavy rain. He laughs and I peer over my book to find he has a clear bottle in his hand that he pulled out of one of the highest cabinets. It’s alcohol. I roll my eyes and go back to reading _20,000 Leagues Under the Sea._

 “Finally,” Poe sighs, “I can forget I’m trapped here with you.”

I scowl into my book, turning red. “Ha ha, very funny!”

I’ll be seventeen in a month. Ben was supposed to bring me to the ocean, but…

Poe unscrews the cap and takes a long drink like it’s water. I peek at him again, curious as ever, and abandon my book to wander in the kitchen and try it myself. We’ve had plenty of food but it’s starting to dwindle. Poe goes hunting sometimes. I don’t want to. I hate hurting animals.

 “You won’t like it,” he laughs.

I don’t. I take a swig and spit most of it out in the sink. He keeps laughing and takes the bottle back to drink more. How does he do it?!

 “Whatever!” I snap.

Poe keeps drinking. I don’t know that sometimes, nice people have problems with alcohol. Sometimes they can’t stop. It’s a corrupting poison.

I shower and change for bed and come out to the living room to find Poe downed half the bottle. He notices me and grins and I squeal and run away into my bedroom. His long arms snag my waist and he collapses in bed with me, laughing and wrestling me on my back. We don’t touch much. He keeps a polite, even distance. I know why. I write about it in my journal, along with all my odd feelings for him and Ben. I’ve begun processing my traumatic past, bit by bit, day by day.

Both of us are breathless from laughing. I think of when Ben laid on top of me and push Poe’s hips down between my legs to rub against him the same way. It feels good. I want to share the experience with Poe, too—and I haven’t touched myself in forever.

His breath catches, dark eyes wide. “Rey, I—”

I cling to him, one arm wrapped around his back and the other pushing desperately on his hip. He takes a few nervous breaths before gently rocking into me, burying his face in the pillows near my neck. I can feel the hardness, like I could with Ben, but it’s warm. We both pant quietly into the silent house, bed creaking and sheets crinkling softly from our hurried movements.

Whimpering, I tug on his sweatpants like I did with Ben. “More, please. I want more.”

 “I can’t give you more, Rey,” Poe groans.

 “But… but why?”

He huffs, calloused palm sliding up my ribs. “It’s not right, that’s why. You’re like a little kid.” Then he turns his head and I feel his warm breath on my neck. “God, your skin is so fucking soft.”

It’s like Ben all over again—but I know Poe doesn’t have the same amount of self-control. I keep making little whimpering sounds, begging, and he keeps shaking his head and muttering ‘no.’ His lips graze my neck before he growls and bites down like Ben, but he doesn’t drink my blood. Poe kisses and sucks his way down my throat to my collarbone and keeps thrusting at the hot pressure between my thighs.

 “Please,” I whisper, “give me more.”

Poe makes a choking sound. “I can’t. I don’t have a condom.”

His hand slips toward my breasts and hesitates and I grab his wrist and drag his rough palm upwards. My black nightgown is over my thighs again and Poe’s sweatpants keep nudging aside my panties. He squeezes when he feels my breast and runs his fingers through my hair, kissing my jaw.

 “A what?” I mumble. “Who cares?”

 “You could get pregnant. I can’t have that on my conscience.”

 “Ben says we can’t have babies.”

Poe strokes my nipple with his thumb and laughs. “Then Ben isn’t a human man.”

I’m so frustrated. I want him inside me. I cry and Poe kisses my tears and reiterates over and over how badly he wants to be inside me, too, but he can’t. My gaze settles on the bottle of liquor. Alcohol… the alcohol will get him to change his mind.

I push Poe off and stumble to it, taking a small sip before offering it to him. He looks hungry and wild on my bed and takes the bottle with his eyes on mine. He drinks with the same ease from before and stares as I slip out of my panties and move to pull my nightgown over my head.

 “No,” he says. “Leave that on. It’s hot.”

Hot? I redden and nod. Poe closes his eyes and works on drinking the rest of the alcohol while I wait with my toes curled. He offers me the meager amount at the bottom and tilts my jaw to help me drink it. My head spins and it clinks to the floor and rolls away as he pulls me back in bed.

 “You’re a virgin?” he whispers, settling beside me.

 “…Yes.”

Poe sucks on two fingers and slips them under my nightgown. One slides inside me and he grunts like he’s surprised. I cling to his shirt and rock on his finger and he groans and kisses my forehead.

 “You’re sure this is okay?” he slurs.

I nod, panting, and reach between his legs to feel the hardness there. His dark eyes flicker back and he whispers in my ear, ‘is that what you want?’ as I slip my fingers down his pants and curl my hand around the warm organ within. It’s soft but stiff and I hesitate when I feel how big it is. How will that fit in my body? Only two fingers go in so far and that’s a lot for me.

I swallow hard. “I… I think it’s too big.”

 “You’ll stretch.” Poe thrusts into my palm, panting. “Trust me.”

But it doesn’t come to that. We go back to rubbing on each other and I climax with a soft whimper and feel Poe twitching and shifting before he finishes, too, low and guttural like a man. He falls asleep on top of me and I run my fingers through his hair and stare at the ceiling. I miss Ben.

Then Poe wakes up a while later and starts kissing my neck. I squirm nervously and let him go until he starts pulling down his sweatpants. I’m a bit more lucid and I say ‘no’ and try to move away.

 “Gonna fuck you,” Poe slurs.

He’s still drunk. I panic and keep saying ‘no’ and try to roll away. Poe struggles to control me and get his pants off until I manage to slap him hard across the face and shove him off me. My heart pounds.

Poe grabs my arm at the door; hard, too hard. He throws me into the wall and starts yelling and all the awful memories I have pour into my mind. I scream and thrash until I land a kick and get away and he catches me again near the bathroom, flinging me to the floor and shouting in my face. I slap him again and he slaps me back.

 “You’re a bitch!” he spits.

It devolves into a fight. Poe is bigger and stronger and he hits me over and over until I see stars. I curl into a ball and sob until my throat feels raw. He leaves me there, trembling, layered in blooming bruises, and staggers into my bedroom to start breaking my stuff. I cry and crawl into the bathroom, locking it behind me, and slink into the bathtub to fall asleep.

When I wake, I slowly wander to the mirror. I’m covered in bruises, like I figured. They’re purple and ugly, running down my neck and along my arms and legs. I have a black eye.

Something breaks in me. Silent, I open the bathroom door and come face-to-face with Poe.

His eyes are puffy and red and he cries when he sees me. I let him hug me and he keeps apologizing over and over. He makes me breakfast and promises he won’t do it again. I know. It was just the alcohol. I smile and shrug and eat. It was just the alcohol. It was just the alcohol.

That night, I sit out on the porch alone, sipping tea. Poe is already asleep. I ruminate over him, wondering what he’s thinking, when I feel that I’m not alone.

 “I’m sorry, Rey.”

I turn slightly to see Ben sitting beside me, dressed in a black t-shirt and jeans. He looks gaunt and tired and I’m so mad, but I still burst into tears and fling my arms around his neck. He hugs me back fiercely and buries his nose in my hair. He’s cold and hard and has no heartbeat. I feel like I’m home.

 “You left me!” I sob. “You left me with him!”

 “I wanted to stay away until you turned eighteen. You seemed happy and he was caring for you appropriately—but now I have to kill him.”

 “No!” I get to my feet, clenching my hands into fists. “Last night was a fluke because of the alcohol _you_ planted there! I’m going back to society with him.”

Ben follows me into the cabin. “Rey, you don’t belong there. Isn’t this enough proof?”

 “I do!” I hiss. “So what if people aren’t perfect? I’m not perfect, either, and I want to see all these things Poe has been telling me about. You abandoned me here with him and now I know what I want to do. Go back wherever you were hiding and leave us alone.”

 “He beat you!” Ben snaps back.

I round on him, glowering, eyes watering. “What’s worse—being beaten or being lied to?! You lie to me every day! You told me people don’t change, and that I’m perfect, and that you won’t touch me without my consent. Then Poe changes, you bite me, and you leave me behind. You’re awful!”

Poe emerges from my bedroom, sleepy and shirtless. Ben stiffens and growls and I deliberately go straight to Poe and hug him, glaring at Ben. Poe yawns and kisses the top of my head.

 “What’re you yelling about?” Poe mumbles.

 “Nothing.” I arch on my tiptoes, kissing his lips chastely. “Let’s go to bed.”

Ben flexes his fingers and glares after us. Good. I’d make him suffer, too.


	11. Asunder

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> rey gets around

Ben follows us back to the bedroom. I feel him touch my green nightgown as Poe leads me to the bed, and I know he’s watching, so I kiss Poe again when we reach my bed. He kisses me back and slips his tongue in my mouth, then crawls on top of me. My bed creaks as Poe kisses along my neck and gently rolls his hips in the same pleasurable way from last night while I pant and push on his lower back to get him as close to me as possible.

 “This is awesome,” he laughs, tangling his fingers in my hair.

 “Why?” I ask. Doesn’t he want to go home?

Poe watches my expressions as I wriggle my hips into his. He’s smiling. “You’re crazy hot, adorable, and we’re eking out our own little life out here.” His eyes stay on mine when he thrusts harder and I moan. “And now I get to come to bed every night and listen to _that._ ”

Ben doesn’t intervene. He watches silently with his arms crossed while I deliberately stare at him and smile. His eyes harden when Poe leans back to slip my panties off my hips and rolls up the edge of my nightgown to expose me, now all wet and flustered. His eyes look dark and hungry and he lays on top of me again and moves his hips slower than before.

 “ _Fuck_ ,” he groans, “you’re so wet. Feels so good.”

 “Yeah,” I whisper, gazing at Ben, “it does.”

The tension builds between my legs. I run my fingers through Poe’s hair and squeeze my thighs around his hips tighter as the warmth builds higher and higher until I’m biting my lip, whimpering. Ben watches when I climax, moaning and flexing my hips against Poe, digging my nails into his bare back.

He turns me on my stomach and grabs my hips to drag me back to him. My spine is bent and I feel kind of embarrassed by the position; exposed and dirty. Poe rubs himself on my butt and it doesn’t feel good for me, but I don’t want to say anything. I bury my face in the pillows while he groans.

 “Christ, Rey.” Poe holds my hips with both hands and rolls them how he wants. “I want to be inside you.”

Ben growls. I don’t raise my head.

 “Um…” I start.

 “Shh—it’s okay. It only hurts for a minute.”

A minute later I feel skin on skin and I jerk forward violently to get away, but Poe holds me still. Something much bigger than two fingers pokes me and it’s hot and I know exactly what it is. I pant nervously and manage to flip over on my back. Poe is looming over me and his hand is moving back and forth fast over his penis. His eyes roll back.

I notice Ben is practically at the edge of the bed. His eyes narrow a little and he steps back again as Poe grunts and breathes fast and white stuff squirts out of him. I squeal in shock but he laughs and holds my arm to keep me still, stroking himself in long, slow motions and soaks me in the mystery fluid. It’s all over my nightgown. Some of it splashes up near my neck.

Trembling, I stare up at Poe as he catches his breath. I feel gross. Used.

 “You didn’t like that, did you?”

I look up at Ben and shake my head, eyes watering. He smiles sadly and runs his fingers along my hairline while Poe gets out of bed to wash his hand off. I quiver, and Ben offers me his hand to help me sit up, then gently rolls up my nightgown to help me out of it. He drops it on the floor and wipes my tears when I start crying. I feel awful.

 “This is how men are, Rey.” My drawer opens across the room and a white nightgown floats over. He helps me into it and cups my cheek. “They just want to use you. Do _I_ use you?” I shake my head and Ben does, too. “No—I don’t.”

 “What was that?” I whisper.

 “Semen, or cum. It’s how men get women pregnant.” He draws his thumb across my lips, eyeing them. “And I won’t allow that to happen to you… Not at this age, anyway.”

I shudder. “Does your body have that stuff?”

 “Yes, it does, but I won’t do that unless you want me to. I’d much rather finish inside you, anyway.”

The thought of that gives me a weird shiver of pleasure. I blink up owlishly at Ben and he makes a low growling sound in his throat before leaning over to kiss my forehead.

 “Sorry, Rey. I guess I got a little carried away.”

Poe is back and smiling. Ben drifts aside, back into the shadows, as Poe leans over to kiss my forehead. I swallow and nod and crawl into bed beside him. He ends up falling asleep on his stomach and I stare up at the ceiling for a while, trying to sort through my emotions. No… I didn’t like that.

The bed shifts near my feet and I look up to find Ben there, straddling my legs. He smiles and puts a finger to his lips, telling me to be quiet, then gently moves the blankets aside. It’s dark but some moonlight comes in the window and I can see his reverent expression as he folds back my gown to my belly. He holds my hips in both hands, brushing my stomach with his fingers, and they drift to my white panties to rub the blue bow in the middle.

 “I’m sorry I bit you,” Ben whispers. His thumb drifts to the top of my slit and rubs in a slow circle. “It won’t happen again.”

I moan and quickly cover my mouth with both hands, glancing at Poe sleeping beside me. Ben smirks and keeps going, grasping my hips to keep me from squirming too much, until I climax with my legs writhing underneath him. He slips his fingers in the top hem of my panties and slowly slides them off me while I pant into my sweaty palm and catch my breath.

He tosses them aside and cranes his neck to kiss my stomach. I pant nervously and watch him gradually roam lower and his dark eyes flicker to mine. He smiles, edging back on his hands and knees, then hooks his arms under my thighs and yanks me to the edge of the bed. He kneels there and as I turn my head to make sure Poe is still asleep, Ben’s tongue dips between my legs.

A tingle of pleasure goes straight up my spine. My breath hitches and Ben murmurs ‘shh’ in a cool breath across my mound and his nose brushes my pubic hair. His moves slowly, licking me a few times before going deeper, and I can’t help but roll my hips against his lips. He groans and I risk taking a hand from my mouth to tangle my fingers in his soft hair, straining him as close as possible.

It feels _amazing_. Ben curves his hands under my ribs when I arch my back and drifts back down to stroke up the front of my thighs. He watches me through lidded eyes and brushes my skin with his fingertips, bringing up goosebumps and pushing me closer to the edge. I writhe shamelessly and don’t stop when Poe mumbles in his sleep. The heat curls up in my stomach and I bite down on my fist when I climax, fighting the urge to scream, and Ben squeezes my legs.

I feel boneless. Ben kisses and licks along my thighs while I tremble and try to catch my breath as quietly as possible. He nuzzles my skin and I think of him sinking his fangs into my thigh.

 “Ben,” I whisper.

 “Mm?”

I hesitate. “…Bite my thigh.”

Ben stops and blinks at me from across my belly. “Are you sure?”

 “Yes.”

His gaze flickers to Poe and his fangs pop out. “Keep quiet, little one.”

Ben’s fangs slice into my inner thigh and I feel my heart skip a beat. He pulls me closer, groaning, and takes long, slow drags of blood. I run my fingers through his hair and idly dip my hand between my legs, curious to see if masturbating feels any different when he’s drinking my blood. Ben watches hungrily as I slowly move my fingers and bite my lower lip to keep from making noise.

He breaks from my thigh and the wound seals shut. His eyes are bright red and his lips are smeared with my blood. Ben stares at me for a second, then moves to crawl on top of me, but stops when his chest is hovering between my thighs. His throat bobs when I slip a hand under my nightgown to touch my nipples and I smile at him.

 “I want you,” I mewl in the softest voice I can manage.

Ben groans like he’s in pain and kisses my stomach. “I want you, too.” He growls and kisses in a straight line up my body, pushing my gown out of the way with his head, until he’s on top of me with his hands on either side of my head. “I want you so badly.”

I move my hands to grip his hips when he rolls them between my thighs. He kisses my temple and pants in my ear while he moves, and I try to pull his pants off. Beside us, Poe snores softly.

 “We can’t, Rey,” Ben whispers urgently. “Not yet, and not here.”

 “But… I want to feel you inside me.”

 “I know… I know. I want that, too.” He thrusts hard and the bed moves. “I love you so much. I want to cum in you—” Ben tugs on his sweatpants, desperate, and I try to help. “I have to—” His fingers thread through my hair and he breathes fast on my neck.

My heart pounds. I cling to Ben as he gets his sweatpants over his hips and he gives me a few hard, hungry kisses and I reach a curious hand between us to feel his penis.

It feels hard like Poe’s, but it’s not the same temperature. I shift nervously at the size of it and Ben makes a choking sound in my hair. His hips jerk forward into my palm and then he’s moving them more and more. I swallow and Ben moves up a bit so he’s positioned over my stomach instead, so he makes sure my nightgown is pushed up under my breasts.

 “Your skin is so soft,” he whispers. “Can I cum on your belly?”

 “Yes.” I nod, peering down to see the pink head of his penis dwarfing my small hand. There’s liquid beading at the top. “What’s that?”

 “Precum.”

 “What’s that for?”

Ben groans in my ear. “Rey, I love you, but you need to stop talking. I’ll explain later.”

Hmph. I watch, mystified, as he twitches in my hand and his thrusts slow to long, slow strokes. He gasps in my ear and I feel him pulse and throb, grunting as cum spurts out of him. He’s pointed towards my belly so it all ends up in a gelatinous pile with some spilling down my fingers and coating them. It’s really sticky.

Ben pants and laughs. “You know, I don’t need to breathe, but right now I feel like I have to.” He kisses my cheek and gives me a longer kiss on the lips, then leans back and tugs his shirt off. “How do you feel?”

 “Fine.” I shrug and watch him wipe off the cum.

 “Good. Let’s go wash your hands.”

Poe stirs when I get out of bed, but he doesn’t fully wake up. I pad to the bathroom behind Ben and clean my hands while he stands behind me and wraps his arms around my waist. He kisses my neck and smiles when I giggle from the tickling sensation.

We go back to the bedroom and I get my journal to write about everything that happened. Ben frowns when he sees it and follows me out to the living room. I open it up and he peeks at the pages as he sits close beside me.

 “What’s this?” he asks.

 “Oh—my journal. I write down my thoughts and stuff and the things that happened to me when I was little.”

Ben plucks it from my hands and it disappears. I start to get mad, but he shushes me and brushes my hair back from my face. I scowl up at him.

 “You don’t need that,” he chides gently. “I’m all you need. Did your time alone make you forget that?”

 “Poe said—”

 “Men lie, Rey.” Ben raises his eyebrows. “Especially when they want sex.”

Hm. I shrug and Ben kisses my forehead, then pulls me into his lap and wraps me in his arms. It’s quiet. I yawn and lean on his chest, sated and happy.

 “Poe said I’m not perfect.”

Ben’s jaw clenches on top of my head. “Then you _know_ he’s a liar.”

I smile smugly and nuzzle into his chest. That’s what I thought.


	12. Subterfuge

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> reyyyyyyyyyyyyy

When I wake in the morning, Poe isn’t lying beside me.

I blink a few times and rub my eyes as I sit up in bed. My bedroom looks different—everything is pink and fluffy like it was when I was younger. My bed sheets are pink and white with unicorn print all over them, something I haven’t liked since I was a little kid. There’s old stuffed animals scattered across my room: teddy bears and unicorns. It takes me back—but I don’t want to go back.

The door creaks open while I’m looking at my white nightgown with puffballs on the trim. I glance up and smile when I see Ben dressed in black with a plate of food in his hand and he smiles back.

 “Good morning, Rey,” he murmurs, kissing my forehead and handing me the plate. He sits by my feet and clasps his hands in his lap. “How did you sleep?”

I shrug, too busy wolfing down my food to talk. Ben reaches under the sheets and strokes my calf. I kick off the sheets and lean back, spreading my thighs, and gesture at them with my fork. His red eyes brighten, and he turns and kneels to kiss his way from my knee down to the spot he wants to bite. I eat my eggs and barely feel his fangs slice through my skin.

Ben takes languid gulps and I finish my breakfast before he’s done. He yanks me down in the soft pillows and crawls on top of me, licking my blood from his lips and gazing down at me. My heart pounds when he kisses me, and I taste copper. I know what he wants, but I’m not in the mood for it.

 “What happened to my room?” I ask. I squirm under his weight.

 “You wanted your old things back.” Ben kisses my temple and pushes up my nightgown. “Don’t you remember asking me last night?”

 “No—and I want to take a shower, so…”

He shushes me. “In a few minutes.”

I cling to Ben’s arms and stare at the ceiling littered with glow-in-the-dark stars. He kisses my jaw, murmuring, and rocks between my legs. My spine prickles with the suspicion that something’s wrong and Ben’s trying to hide it from me. I lay beneath him in silence, listening to the bed creak and his stifled groans in my ear. Why does it feel like he’s using me?

He climaxes with a guttural grunt after a few minutes, spilling wetness on my panties. I’m too irritated to do the same and I push Ben off when he tries kissing my cheeks.

The house is quiet and still. I slip out of bed and peel off my damp panties to get a clean pair, then head to the bathroom with Ben following behind me. It seems like Poe isn’t home. I’m sure he went out to hunt or find some berries.

Ben wraps an arm around my waist in the bathroom and slips two fingers under my nightgown. “You didn’t finish, did you? Is that why you’re upset?”

 “No!” I snap, wriggling away. I pull off my gown, scowling. “Where’s Poe?”

Ben scowls and watches me get in the shower. “Back where he belongs with the humans. Why do you care, Rey? Don’t you remember what he did to you?”

I scrub my hair and ignore him. Ben waits outside the shower, fuming, while I scrub my body clean and grow angrier at the thought of him getting rid of my friends. He tells me what to do all the time and—and so what?! Ben left, so Poe and I—

The shower ripples and changes color to bright yellow, and I realize I’m not in the cabin anymore.

I stand there under the cascade of water for a minute and turn in a circle. I’m clean and ready to get out, but the curtain has fish on it, not ducks like mine. My heart beats faster as I yank the curtain open.

Poe is standing at the sink with a toothbrush jutting out of his mouth. He doesn’t have a shirt on and his wide dark eyes get wider at the sight of me naked in his shower. We blink at each other in shock, then I scream and scramble to get away from him.

Ben is nowhere to be seen. Poe panics and grabs me around the waist, swinging me out of the tub and onto the white tile floor, and someone knocks on the bathroom door.

 “Poe?” calls a woman. “Are you okay?”

He covers my mouth, panting. “Y—Yeah! I’m fine! I’ll see you tonight, Kaydel!”

We wrestle for a minute because I’m so confused and afraid, and Poe pins me to the floor on my stomach. He squeezes his hands over the top of mine while the shower runs in the background.

 “Did that thing drop you off here?” he asks in a low tone.

 “Ben,” I correct, “and yes, he did.”

 “Well he needs to come get you before my girlfriend sees a sixteen-year-old kid wandering around our apartment.”

But Ben is nowhere to be seen. I bite Poe’s forearm to make him let go and wrap a towel around myself when I get to my feet. He stares at me, eyes raking down my body, and goes back to the sink to finish brushing his teeth. I stand there and shift back and forth on my feet with anxiety growing in my belly. Ben’s mad. He’s trying to teach me a lesson.

 “You have a girlfriend?” I blurt.

Poe wipes his mouth and doesn’t look at me. “…Yes.” He opens the mirror cabinet over the sink. “I didn’t know if I’d ever come back here, so… That’s how we got ‘involved.’”

Inexplicably, I’m jealous. I think of Poe doing all the things we did with another girl and the jealousy lances through my heart like a knife. Did he feel that way about Ben and me?

 “…Okay,” I mutter.

Poe catches my hurt expression in the mirror and turns around to hug me. I return the embrace, eyes welling up with tears, and wish Ben would just come get me. I’ll stop complaining. Ben doesn’t have another girl waiting for him somewhere, and he doesn’t drink or—well, earlier was a misunderstanding. I should’ve said ‘no’ and been firmer if I didn’t want to play.

We leave the bathroom after I wring out my hair. Poe brings me through a cramped hallway to a bedroom with a small bed and TV and nothing else. The green paint is cracked and peeling.

 “Don’t leave this room,” he instructs, tugging one of his black t-shirts over my head. “I’ll think of something to tell Kaydel, but plan on being my cousin or another relative. I’m shipping out to basic in a few weeks so your boyfriend or whatever needs to come get you.”

I nod. I’m used to doing what I’m told and staying in one place. Poe gives me a tentative kiss on my forehead and hands me a pair of long black shorts to wear. I stand up to put them on, naked from the waist down, and he stares for a minute before rushing out the door. It slams shut behind him.

The day is boring. I lounge in bed and turn on the TV to find it’s all cartoons, which puts me to sleep for an hour or two. The room doesn’t have a window so I end up sitting in hazy darkness with just the television flashing in front of me. It’s dark and sad. I want to be out in the sunshine with Ben, but I can’t stand him telling me what to do all the time.

The door opens when it feels like I’m on my hundredth cartoon. I sit up as Poe walks inside with a girl about his height behind him. She’s wearing jeans and a green blouse and has her hair drawn back in two buns on top of her head. She has hazel eyes and a round, inviting face.

 “This is Rey,” Poe says, gesturing to me. “She’s my cousin. I found her wandering outside covered in dirt so I loaned her my clothes. I’m not sure how she got here, honestly, but…”

 “Why are you keeping in here like a friggen prisoner?!” Kaydel snaps. She beams and walks up to me, taking my hand and pulling me to my feet. “Hi there, Rey. It’s nice to meet you. We’re about to have dinner; do you want to come down?”

I haven’t seen another woman in years. The last one was Leia, and Ben brought her home when she recognized him. I shrug and follow Kaydel from the room to the kitchen downstairs.

A week passes without incident. Both Poe and Kaydel work all day so I wander around their apartment, reading books and calling out to Ben. I know he’s still around. Kaydel is one of the nicest people I’ve ever met and she lets me wear her clothes and teaches me how to cook. I like living with her, but I miss Ben. I don’t understand what point he’s trying to prove.

On a Friday night the two of them go out and I hang out in my bedroom and watch TV. I shovel ice cream smothered in chocolate syrup down my throat and perk up when I hear the front door open. Kaydel said we could watch a movie downstairs with popcorn, so—

 “Poe, you’re drunk!”

I frown and open my door to see Kaydel stumble upstairs first, tugging down her black dress past her thighs. Poe follows and grabs her wrist, staggering, then shoves her into the wall. I stare as Kaydel tries to push her away and gasp in horror when he slaps her across the face.

Kaydel lands a kick on him and runs down the hall to their bedroom. She shuts and locks the door behind her before Poe can recover and he sways back to his feet. His dark eyes fall on me in my bedroom doorway and I remember when he was drunk around me before. Alcohol is poison. I’ve never been so sure of it as I am right now.

 “You shouldn’t hit her,” I falter.

Poe makes his way down the hallway towards me. I freeze in fear and back away as he gets to my bedroom door, which he shuts behind him with a quiet click.

He stumbles after me in the dark room to the bed illuminated with the flickering television. I can only pant in terror as Poe’s drunken hands wander along my body and he pushes me down in the sheets. He mumbles and kneels between my thighs, tugging on my pants while I squirm.

 “Stop,” I whisper. I claw at his wrists in a panic. “Stop!”

Poe seizes my throat and glares down at me. “Shut up.”

He’s too drunk to get very far. I lay there without saying a word like I did with Ben, letting Poe puff and groan and rub himself between my legs. He calls me a ‘good girl’ and my stomach turns.

I roll on my side when he’s done and leaves the room. Tears sting my eyes and I cry to myself and listen to Poe berate Kaydel in the other room. I don’t understand why this place can be so perfect one minute and utterly horrible the next. It’s unpredictable; unstable. My cabin in the woods with Ben is the same each day, and he loves me and no one else.

But no matter how hard I cry or how hard I beg, Ben doesn’t come for me. I wonder if I’ve been abandoned completely; if he lost his patience with my constant questioning and decided to give me what I thought I wanted. I stare at the wall and chew my nails.

Another week goes by. Kaydel moves out with bruises on her arms and two boys flanking her who shoot Poe dirty looks. He apologizes and says it won’t happen again but she ignores him. One of the bigger boys shoves Poe back when he tries to get to Kaydel. He paces downstairs after she leaves and I twiddle my thumbs. I’m alone again in my windowless room.

Poe steps inside, gaze distant. “…You can stay here while I’m in basic.”

 “Okay.”

We start sleeping in his room. Most days he’s the friendly guy who kept me safe while Ben was gone, but when he gets his hands on alcohol, he turns into a different person. He gets handsy and angry, so I learn to lock myself in the bedroom and hide under the sheets while he bangs on the door and shouts. In the morning he’s always fine. He just has to sleep it off.

One night, I don’t lock the door.

Poe pushes his way inside. He throws me around the room for a while and I cry for Ben to help me. Then Poe forces me down on my knees, tangles his fingers in my hair, and unzips his pants.

 “Don’t bite me,” he slurs.

Then my mouth is full of him and there’s nowhere left to run or hide. I cling to his pants with tears in my eyes and roll my lips over my teeth. Poe groans and thrusts fast and hard and it takes a long time. He finishes eventually, filling my cheeks with cum, and I vomit on his feet before I realize I’m nauseous. He calls me a bitch and slaps me across the face. I collapse in a ball on the carpet and cry some more.

I’m alone for a long time in the darkness before I hear a sigh.

 “My poor Rey.”

Trembling, I lift my head and see Ben standing near the closet door. He smiles sadly and opens his arms when I scramble to my feet and run to him, sobbing. I bury my face in his chest and cry while he strokes my hair and whispers ‘I love you’ in my ear. I won’t complain ever again.

 “I’m so sorry,” I blubber. “I’m so sorry!”

 “Let’s go for a walk, hm?”

I nod, and we disappear from Poe’s apartment.


	13. Seize

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ben and rey create the beast with two backs  
> i added the underage tag because rey is 16 going on 17 baby it's time to think

We appear in the dark cabin bathroom. I sob and cling to Ben as he gently helps me out of my clothes, murmuring and kissing the side of my neck. The water turns on behind us as my pants and panties slip to the floor with a muffled sound. Ben’s cold hand slides up my back to unhook my bra.

 “Do you understand now, Rey?” he asks.

 “Yes—Yes!” I cry into his chest and shake my head. “I don’t want to go back, Ben!”

He hums and leans back to pull my shirt and bra off. I stand in front of the mirror and brush my teeth, hiccupping, scrubbing the taste of Poe out of my mouth. Ben’s cool skin brushes across mine as he steps up behind me, but I can’t see his reflection in the mirror. He’s naked, too. He’s not warm like Poe, though—he’s chilly, but safe. His skin feels familiar.

I finish brushing my teeth and rinse my mouth out. Ben edges me towards the shower and keeps kissing my neck as he steps in behind me. His long arms wrap around my waist and I turn to face him, leaning on his broad, pale chest under the warm torrent of water.

 “You didn’t use your ring,” he murmurs.

 “I didn’t want to hurt him. I’m so sorry… I don’t like hurting people.”

Ben nods. “I know, little one. I know.”

He washes me with a loofa until my sobs deteriorate into whimpers and sniffles. I’m not sure why I ever wanted to leave, or why I questioned him. I close my eyes while he washes my hair and take deep breaths through my nose. I’m safe. Poe can’t get me here.

The cabin is quiet and still. Ben turns off the water and dries me off, wringing water from my hair, then gives me a chaste kiss on the lips. I kiss him back tentatively and Ben leans closer to slip his tongue in my mouth, edging me out of the bathroom into the hallway. My pulse quickens when I think of Poe’s drunk, sloppy mouth on mine, but Ben is much gentler and doesn’t taste like whiskey.

We make our way to my bedroom and I step across pink, plush carpet to my bed. Ben pulls the sheets back and crawls under them with me, black hair hanging like a curtain around his face. Rain patters on the open window and a cool breeze draws goosebumps across my damp skin. I shiver.

Ben wipes a tear from my cheek with his thumb. “We don’t belong with them. Death was my only escape—but it doesn’t have to be yours. You’ll always be safe here with me.”

 “…How did you do it?”

 “With a gun.” His long fingers push through his hair to show me a part of his scalp with a dull red circle. “I was brought back as soon as I died, and the wound has never stopped hurting. I thought I was cursed to live in eternal pain… until I sensed you.”

I stare into his dark eyes. “You’re always in pain?”

 “Yes. I’m getting used to it.” Ben cups my cheek in his wide palm and smiles. “Do you understand now? We can’t live around humans. We’re unique, Rey. We belong together—here.” He kisses the tip of my nose and I close my eyes and feel his cool breath on my lips. “I won’t hurt you.”

I nod, and Ben kisses me again. He shifts closer and soon I can only hear our kissing and the drizzling rain. My skin heats up, tension curling between my legs, and I just want to get even closer.

Ben pulls me to his chest, then carefully maneuvers on top of me like he can read my mind. Our kiss deepens as he settles between my thighs and I run my fingers through his thick hair, heart fluttering with anticipation. I don’t want to talk. That just gives me a chance to think about what I’m doing. I want to stay in the cabin forever with Ben and forget about the world outside it.

He kisses down my body under the pink sheets until he’s at the apex of my thighs. I whimper and touch his hair, slowly rolling my hips against his mouth. Ben keeps going until I climax with a strangled moan and crawls up my body after, licking his lips and watching me hungrily. I cling to his ribs as he presses his forehead to mine and shifts his cool body closer to mine. The bed creaks and I try to peer at what’s happening between my legs.

Ben kisses me and dips his lips to my ear. “I love you, little one. Just relax, okay? I promise it will feel good.”

I nod once and bury my face in his shoulder as he strains toward me. I’m still upset about Poe and worried about Ben sending me back to the humans, and I’m too afraid to say anything.

Ben’s fangs brush my neck. “You’re going to feel a pinch.”

I close my eyes and bite down on Ben’s shoulder when I feel him gently push through a few inches of wet flesh. He rolls his hips and clicks his teeth as he gradually rocks deeper, making me squirm underneath him. It’s worse than a pinch. I whimper in pain and Ben kisses my neck and murmurs apologies. The room is quiet and still. He’s everywhere at once.

 “Ben,” I whisper, “it feels weird.”

 “Mm. I know.” He gives a jerky thrust and apologizes when I squeak in surprise. “Fuck—sorry. You’re so tight, Rey—it feels so good.”

It doesn’t feel that great for me. My body is being split open like I’m on a skewer with each movement of Ben’s hips and I dig my heels into the mattress, grimacing. He moves slow, stretching me inch by inch, and I can’t hold back a weak cry of pain.

 “I know,” Ben coos, “I know. I know it hurts.” He kisses the arch of my jaw and grazes my flesh with his fangs. “My brave Rey. I’m so proud of you.”

I nod and sob and for some reason, it spurs Ben on. He whispers in my ear as he buries himself to the hilt inside me with a low growl, masking my keening whimpers. Ben claws at the mattress and the sounds coming out of him turn guttural. I hear tearing as he rhythmically pumps in and out, in and out.

It’s a weird sensation. I sniffle and meet his thrusts, gradually beginning to enjoy the feeling of fullness. It’s even better than having his fingers inside me. Ben kisses my temple and murmurs compliments, and I grow bolder. I grasp his hips, marveling at the tension of his muscles under my fingers, and angle my body to make him rub a certain spot.

My toes curl, legs limply writhing from pleasure. The friction feels nice but now it doesn’t sting as much. I dig my nails into Ben’s cold skin and buck my hips into his, following the hot pressure that flares every time he thrusts. It’s just like touching myself, but it’s so much more intense. I scratch Ben’s back, gasping, panicking a bit as the tension snaps.

 “Ben!” I squeak, surprised at first and clinging to him. I hold him in place with my thighs and hear him bite the pillow next to my head. “Ah—Ben!”

My climax throbs through me and I can feel him twitching inside me. It tingles down to the tips of my toes and draws out a lazy moan as I ride the last waves of pleasure against his hard body.

Ben flips me on my stomach while I’m still catching my breath and sinks inside me from behind. He pushes down between my shoulder blades so my back is arched up to meet his hips. I lick my lips lazily and listen to his grunting and the creak of the bed. Sex is _definitely_ nice. We’re not even done and I want to do it again.

 “All mine,” Ben growls. He drags my hips to him and I moan. Then he leans across my back and I feel his fangs prod the taut muscle connecting my neck to my shoulder. “My mate.”

I cry out when he abruptly bites down. Pain lances down my arm and I squirm, but Ben growls like a dog and holds my hands down with his. He keeps thrusting, now a bit slower, and takes long, languid gulps of blood. A strange sensation flickers in my mind, like a feather brushing my consciousness.

Ben hums and I feel calm all of a sudden. He stops drinking after a while and licks the bite mark, which makes me aroused and confused. I lie quietly as he sucks on it and realize he’s pulsing and twitching inside me. His humming turns into purrs, hips flexing lazily, all signs of desperation gone. Calm settles in my dark, quiet bedroom.

He noses in my hair. “Do you feel that, little one? I’m cumming in you.”

 ”Oh…” I frown as he kisses my ear. “Isn’t it usually faster?”

 “Mm. Not with mates.” He groans and gently makes a few feeble thrusts and I feel him throb and spill inside me. “This can go on for half an hour. Feels… fucking sublime.”

I like the idea of Ben being inside me for a long time. My own body responds to the thought and I try to reach a hand between my legs, but Ben still has them pinned. He drags a pillow underneath my hips and licks the bite mark while I puff and squirm my way to another orgasm.

Ben brushes my hair from my forehead to kiss my temple and rests his cheek on the side of my head. “Are you going to come again for me, Rey?”

I nod, panting, writhing under his heavy body. “Y-Yes.”

 “Do you like being filled with my cum?”

  “Um… I think so?”

Ben smiles at my temple. “My Rey—so sweet.”

We finish again, this time together, and Ben jerks his hips a bit harder. His essence leaks out of me and drips on the bed sheets but that seems to egg him on. He murmurs about not being wasteful when I climax again, whimpering and grinding on the pillow, and prods my lips with the opaque, sticky fluid. I obediently open my mouth and suck.

My eyes roll back. Pleasure tingles through me at the taste and I think I might be drunk from it. Ben sucks on the bite mark until he peaks with spastic thrusts and I relish the sensation of him spurting inside me yet again. Drool runs down the corner of my mouth as I shamelessly slobber on Ben’s fingers. He groans and keeps going, and I wonder if we’re ever going to stop.

My lust-addled mind doesn’t care. I slowly lose control of myself and start doing embarrassing, weird things, like mewling like a kitten. Ben sinks his fangs into the bite mark again to draw blood and I moan and squirm underneath him. A haze settles in my head. I’ve never been drunk, but I feel like I might be right now.

 “That’s my good girl,” Ben whispers, smearing cum on my tongue. “My sweet little girl. You’re all mine now, aren’t you?”

 “Mmph,” I mumble as I rub myself on the pillow. I suck on his finger, fighting to keep my eyes open.

Ben pants with me and whimpers too when I climax around his cock again. He grasps my jaw as he does the same with a subtle snarl and I feel an odd tightening sensation near my entrance.

The trance ends. I breathe heavy and hard as I come down and Ben goes back to purring and kissing my shoulder and hair. He nuzzles me. I’m sweaty and sleepy, so I try to push myself off the bed to take another shower before I fall asleep.

Ben holds me down. “Ah, ah, little one. Stay still for a few more minutes, okay?”

 “But—“

 “Be good for me.” He’s pulsing inside me like before, but something feels different. It’s really tight. “I love you so much. Now we never have to be apart.”

I nod, swelling with happiness at that thought, but preoccupied with Ben throbbing in my body. He goes back to licking the bite mark and all my apprehension suddenly disappears, almost like it was never there in the first place. I’m left sleepy and sated underneath my demon with strange things happening between my legs.


	14. Fin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this is the end but i'll do an epilogue  
> sooner or later

Rain drums on the windows all night.

I wake up with Ben curled to my back and feel my neck throb where he bit me. He licks the spot when I stir and it sends tingles of pleasure through my whole body. When I shift my thighs, I feel sticky, dried stuff there and more leaks out of me. I redden, embarrassed, and Ben shifts his cold naked body closer. He sucks on the bite mark and I whimper, arching and squirming against him.

A breeze lifts sweat from my skin. The sheets are on the floor and I look around my bedroom and smile. It’s the same way it was when Ben first brought me. It’s safe and comfortable and I know it. I sigh and close my eyes as Ben dips his fingers between my legs to touch me the way I like.

 “I could see your dreams,” he murmurs. “You were thinking of the ocean—and me. Would you like to go see the ocean, little one?”

I nod, breathless. He hums and nuzzles my neck, quickly bringing me to the brink of climax. It happens faster than normal and I gladly let Ben push me on my stomach and kneel between my thighs.

He breathes on the back of my neck. “My cum is still dripping out of you. Do you want more?”

 “…Yes,” I mumble.

 “Mm.” Ben tugs my hips up and strokes the head of his cock at my entrance. “Good girl. We can go to the ocean today, too. It’s just us now.”

Then he begins pushing inside me without any warning. I whimper in pain, wincing from the friction, but Ben growls and drives deeper. I squirm under his weight and clench the sheets, trying to stay quiet. I don’t want to upset him. I don’t want to go back to the humans.

Ben holds my hip, pumping rhythmically inside me. It feels like more pressure than the night before and I can’t hold back a small sob. I’m so overwhelmed. It feels good, but it’s a lot, and I’m still upset about Poe. Ben _left_ me with him. He abandoned me. I squeeze my eyes shut and break down into sobs as the demon buries himself fully inside me.

Ben coos in my ear. “Shh—you’re okay, you’re okay. It’s just me. You know I won’t hurt you.” He leans his chest on my back and nuzzles my hair. “My mate. My little Rey.”

 “I’m… I’m so confused,” I whisper.

He sucks on the bite mark again and a strange sense of calm settles across my muscles. I go limp under Ben while he gently thrusts in and out, in and out. He yanks a pillow over to stuff under my hips again and groans when I start rubbing myself on it. My insides twitch around Ben’s cock and he pumps faster.

 “So tight,” he mumbles, “so sweet and tight. You feel so good, Rey.”

 “…Okay.”

Ben doesn’t seem to notice my bed creaking. He groans in my ear and whispers until I come apart and finish. I moan and wriggle my hips and he sinks his fangs in my neck to drink blood. It pulls my orgasm on for longer than normal and I pant and keep bucking until it tapers off.

I swallow, clinging to the sheets as Ben thrusts faster. One of his forearms rests on the bed beside me and he has his fingers hooked over the edge of the mattress. His other hand is clenched around my hip. He buries his face in my hair and pretends he’s panting as he starts twitching and swelling inside me. It’s a weird feeling.

I rub the sheets in my fingertips. “Ben?”

 “Mm?”

He grunts a second later and I feel strange pulses inside me, rhythmic and strong. Ben exhales hard through his teeth as the sense of fullness and pressure comes back like last night. I try to pull away, but find he’s stuck inside me. My pulse quickens.

Ben throbs and gently rocks his hips in time with the pulsations, resting his weight on both forearms now. He kisses my shoulder lazily and his chest vibrates on my back with a purr.

I close my eyes when he licks the bite mark. “Why are we having sex this way?”

 “We’re mating, little one. This position lets me get nice and deep.” He moans and gives a sudden thrust and I feel him throb inside me. “ _Fuck_ that feels good.”

 “…Mating?” I echo.

Ben rolls his hips absentmindedly. “Shh—don’t worry. I’ll take care of my Rey. Just relax and rub on your pillow. Do you like feeling me cum in you?”

I want to know more, but I’m afraid to keep pressing him. I nod in response to his question and Ben nods, too, and I feel him swelling again. He whispers in my ear when I start squirming into my pillow, panting and whimpering into the darkness. Rain patters on the windows. It’s just us now.

 “My good little girl. Are you going to come for me?”

It gives me weird flashbacks from my childhood. He’s using the same voice they used, but… it’s Ben. I trust him with my life. He always let me learn things on my own and never invaded my body. I puff through my teeth and nod, thinking of Ben lying behind me in bed silently while I touched myself.

He smiles against my neck. “You like that? Being naughty?”

 “Mm… mhm.”

 “I know you do—but you’re always so good for me.” Ben closes his hands over the top of mine and flexes his hips, shifting slightly inside me.

We keep going until the rain stops. I climax two more times and Ben pulls the pillow out so I can rest on the bed. My lidded eyes search the dark room while he kisses my temple and along my shoulder. He purrs, still inside me somehow, and nuzzles into my hair. I’m so sleepy. Sex is great, but…

I yawn. “Can we do it the other way next time? I like looking at you.”

 “Of course, my love.” Ben sighs and hooks his chin over my shoulder. “I have to run an errand in a bit. Will you be okay here alone?”

 “Me? Mhm! I’ll shower and go back to sleep, I think.”

 “Good. Stay inside, and touch the bite mark if you need me, okay?” Then his breath catches and he jerks inside me again. “Fuck—sorry. We’re almost done. Just a bit longer.”

Sometimes Ben moves between my legs and I feel his cum squish around. He hums and breathes in my hair and I start to doze off. I’m happy overall. Some things are confusing, but I’m with Ben and I know I’m safe. He won’t hurt me. Sex feels nice and I get a weird sense of pleasure when he’s stuck inside me. Everything else will fall into place.

He withdraws a few minutes later and I wake up. Ben turns me on my back and growls, pretending to bite my neck. I squeal and hitch my knees on his hips and laugh. His lips find the mark on my neck and he slowly sucks on it, lulling me into a calm, drowsy state. I rest my fingertips on his ribs and close my eyes as his essence leaks out of me.

Ben edges closer. He keeps sucking on the mark and I moan when he gently pushes inside me again without a word. This time he goes slower, less desperate than our first two times, and I cling to him and smile. My Ben. He’s been my saving grace since we met in my bedroom when I was six. He loves me. He always has and I know he always will.

When we finish, Ben doesn’t stay inside me. He gives me more soft kisses before he gets out of bed and dresses. I lie there on my back and stretch my arms toward the ceiling. I’m sated and drowsy, but I want to wash Ben’s cum out of me and wash off my sweat.

 “I wish we did this sooner,” I say, beaming as I start to sit up. “It feels so—”

Ben pops up at the edge of the bed and pushes me back down. I frown up at him as he brushes my hair back from my face and smiles tightly. His dress shirt is open and I can see his pale chest.

 “Stay there for a while,” he murmurs. “At least fifteen minutes. My cum is good for you.”

I cock my head. “Oh… really?”

Ben props my chin up on his index finger, still smiling. “Would I ever lead you astray?”

 “Well, I guess not. It just feels kind of gross.”

He kisses my forehead. “I know, little one. Rest. Why don’t you play with yourself a little? That always feels nice. We can leave for the beach when I come home.”

Seems weird, but Ben is staring down at me. I settle under the thin sheet and bite my lower lip, slipping my hand between my legs. He beams and touches my knuckles as I stroke his cum through my folds and slide a finger inside myself.

 “Good girl,” he coos, “my good little girl. I’ll be back home soon.”

 “But… w-where are you going?”

Ben pauses by the door and glances at me over his shoulder. His eyes are red.

 “I owe Poe Dameron a visit.”

Then he’s gone and I’m alone in my bedroom. I sigh and rest in my pillows, idly touching myself. Poe _is_ going to wonder where I disappeared to.

I get out of bed when I’m done and take a shower. Ben got me new cucumber shampoo and a body scrub and I sing while I wash myself off. Everything is just right. I brush my teeth and put my hair up in a towel and walk around the quiet cabin.

Poe is gone and so is Ben. I check the fridge and find blueberries to munch on, and carry them around the cabin. Lots of things have happened here. I lived with Poe for a long time and learned he doesn’t do well with alcohol. I grew up with Leia until she upset Ben. Now I know the only person I can trust is Ben. He’s safe. He teaches me hard lessons, but I know it was worth it in the end. I’m stubborn.

I sit on the couch to read and smile when I think of having sex with Ben. It’s not like I imagined. He wanted to wait until I was eighteen, but almost seventeen is good enough. We’ll be together forever, anyway. I’ve been ready for a long time. Dealing with how mean Poe was reminded me of it.

But sex with Ben is nice. Definitely nice. He says we can’t have babies, not that I really get how that works. It feels good. We’ll be together forever.

Night falls when Ben reappears in the kitchen. I leap off the couch in my green nightgown and jump in his arms. He hugs me tightly and twirls me in a circle, burying his face in my neck.

 “I missed you,” I murmur, nuzzling his hair. “How did it go with Poe? Did you talk to him?”

 “Oh yes, we had a nice long chat.” Ben sets me on my feet and curls a lock of hair behind my ear. “Which reminds me—I have a present for you.”

I squeal and clap my hands. Ben offers me a a pale white heart hung on a silver chain and I bounce as he clasps it around my neck. It’s kind of heavy and looks like he carved it himself out of stone. I turn it in circles and beam up at him and he kisses my forehead. Ben gets me lots of presents, but I love the ones he makes the most.

 “I love it,” I chirp. “Can I wear it to the beach?”

Ben touches the small of my back to lead me to the bedroom. “It’s a porous material, so try not to get it wet, little one. Let’s rest up before we leave for the beach tomorrow.”

We walk into my bedroom, decorated in pink and white with unicorns all over the walls and furniture. It’s what I’ve always known, and I figure it’s what I’ll know until someone tears me and Ben apart. But that won’t happen—Ben will never let us be apart again.

He peels off my green nightgown to slip me into the white one and stands between my knees at the edge of the bed. I smile up at his hungry red eyes and take a deep breath.

This is where I belong. This is where I’ve _always_ belonged.


End file.
